Sunday, August 06, 2006

Hot Air

11:30pm on Friday night, and four minors (16 years old) are at the rear of the Wayside Tavern arguing the toss about entry with the staff.

They were led by a belligerent lad who was slightly bigger (a fatty), though not older, than the others. (They were minors in stature as well as in age.)

The midgets had brought alcohol with them from elsewhere and were consuming it at the door, so Mine Host summoned the police.

When the police arrived the minors claimed that they only wished to get into the pub to "smash up" Mine Host. Keeping a straight face, the cops wrote each of them a ticket for $220. The illegal liquor had been hurriedly disposed of when the police were first seen, otherwise the tickets would have been for a MUCH larger amount.

Fatty had sucked his three mates into supporting him in a drunken outing. Now the three were in a panic that they were going to be "killed" by their parents for getting into trouble with the police.

Folornly, Fatty structed the police to write all tickets in the one name, his.

Fatty then asked the police what they would do if he was to "smash" Mine Host on the spot.

So the police told him.

Fatty then walked over to Mine Host and gave his idea of a tough, unblinking stare. Fatty is pimply and lacks a Clint Eastwood style "presence", so his action was more ridiculous than macho, causing plenty of mirth among the onlooking staff and police.

The four were mounted on kid sized bicycles, and in a breach of Queensland law, none were wearing helmets.

Lack of helmet on a bicycle attracts police interest.

All four stated they had pushed their bicycles to the Wayside Tavern, and would be pushing them home again. (winking to each other, thinking how easy it is to outsmart cops!)

The police said they would ensure they pushed the bicycles home.

The smirking stopped when the police produced a valve tool and instructed the four to surrender pronto the valves from their bicycle tyres, or the police would confiscate the bicycles....

1 comment:

Bozo said...

Yep, I remember the cops doing this when I was a kid, not to me but only by good luck.

I was at a railway station in Inverness on the weekend and a number of hoods rode their bikes through. I thought at the time that it was a pity none of the railway staff had a valve tool, but in any event they probably lacked the guts and legal authority to use one.