Monday, August 01, 2016

Rapid Response

One of the chambermaids was molested inside a guest room as she was performing daily room servicing duties.

The molester was not the person checked into the room, rather a passing opportunist, who afterward proceeded to the public bar & commenced drinking.

The girl reported the incident to the Head Housekeeper, (words have meanings, "molest" does not mean "rape") Mine Host was consulted, the matter was deemed "police-worthy".

In the pub trade one must very carefully weigh up any matter before calling the police.  (The police are not the friend of the law abiding citizen)

Mine Host called Triple-Zero.

The police are never far away in a small town.  They are Two blocks from the Wayside Tavern.

The police took 55 minutes to arrive.

The culprit was by then very much finished his drinking, and had long gone.  Perhaps the police will identify him, or even catch him one of these days.

Mine Host cannot help but wonder how it came to pass that a 30-man police station in a small town took 55 minutes, in broad daylight, to attend the molesting of a young woman, when the offender was lurking nearby juicily lounging around waiting to be arrested.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Should have paid attention in school

Having lived all his young life in a state where pornography was illegal (including Playboy magazine) and where a "rude picture" was unobtainable, Mine Host has little grasp of the concept of what it is like for the current generation of young fellers, who thanks to the invention of the internet, have free and ready access to far more than "rude pictures" that are so tame they'd not be out of place on the front cover of Vogue magazine.

However, as some Wayside Tavern staff are able to attest, access to "rude stuff" via the internet isn't as easy as one may assume......

....... a couple of the kitchen staff, aged well into their Twenties, decided - as you do - to surf for some "really good stuff" of a genre they'd not seen before.

Then their search hit a dead end.

It transpires one is able to readily access infinite amounts of unbelievably explicit video-clips or images, all you've to do is type what you seek into a search engine.

After several minutes of trying all sorts of combinations into Google, disheartened and disappointed, they gave up.

While wondering just how many possible combinations there can be to the simple 4-letter word (or should have been 4 letters) they were endeavouring to search for, Mine Host is of the belief that they'd have done better had they dropped the double-"n" from "annal" (and every other combination thereof).

So continues life when you're dealing with the produce of the modern western education system!

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Equal Measure!

Taken in the yard of the Wayside Tavern last night.
Empty beer kegs to be returned to the breweries.

Those with a sharp eye and experience in the Australian beer industry will have noticed something:
Half of are from the XXXX brewery.

Half are from the Carlton brewery.

Carlton & United Breweries selling draught beer in equal quantity to XXXX.

I've never seen this before.  Not in a pub with a static clientele of Queenslanders.

A few years ago CUB came up with a new beer, which has been making steady inroads into XXXX's market - culminating in this photo.

For the past few decades XXXX has held an overwhelming majority of the market share in Queensland - especially non-tourist areas, and those places without large numbers of internal immigrants from the deep south of this great nation.

Though it must be noted that XXXX was never as popular in the north.  Being a southern Australian beer it was never able to glean in the north the same strength of brand loyalty it got in its southern home base.

So continues life behind the bar!

Monday, May 23, 2016


Made Two triple-Zero calls this week.
Was wondering if there'd be a third - to add symmetry (Three Zeros - Three calls)
It was not to be.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Welcome to Australia

One of the more maudlin moments in internet history was the sudden and unexplained disappearance of: "Cigarette Smoking Blog" by Helen Rittelmeyer.

Though discovered only a few weeks prior to its demise, it was one of Mine Host's favourite reads.

Riveting content.  (Subject matter that appealed heavily to Mine Host)
Well written.
Now gone.

The authoress had apparently moved from North America to Australia, and compiled the above list of pros & cons to life in Australia.

She list the following as "positives" about Australia:
Good weather  -  Depends which part of Oz.  (Apparently much of North America has quite bleak weather)
Lamb very cheap - Is this true?  Why would anybody notice?  Beef is the one natural food on this planet.
Kookaburras - Agreed, lovely sound.
Women glow, Men chunder - A common enough sentiment, though not often one hears North Americans spruiking it up as one of Australia's more pleasant aspects.
Never have to learn Civil War history - I don't understand the question.
Monarchy -  Easy to see why she'd think this - when you consider some of what gets voted in as President over there.
True Love - Can't argue with that!

Sharp-eyed Helen Rittelmeyer has detected a couple of areas in which Australia could do with some improvement:
Bourbon very expensive - I do not understand the question.
Upside-down - Ms Rittelmeyer clearly has her desk globe inverted, this is easily rectified.
Get hit by car b/c looked wrong way crossing the street - I do not understand how this can be.
Bad coffee - Nobody from North America is in any position to level such an accusation at Australia.  In fact she should go to jail just for saying this.
Fewer magazines to write for - She's clearly so starstruck by love that she's overlooked such things as, telecommuting, or the internet.
Miss U.S. Friends - Is this the title of a beauty pageant?

We'll vote later on whether she can stay here.
Mine Host strongly urges a "yes" vote.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Office of No Fact Checking

The Fair Work Ombudsman is among the more intellectually substandard of government agencies.

An example:

A disgruntled former employee made a complaint against Mine Host (this is quite common in the hospitality industry).

The Fair Work Ombudsman's first move is always to take a couple of months to get around to looking at the complaint.

Their second move is always to place a phone call to the "employer" (the actual terminology in their literature was "wrongdoer").

However this phone call is placed not to Mine Host, not even to the Wayside Tavern, but to the public bar of a pub some 1,900 km distant.

This other pub's name is nothing like the Wayside Tavern.  There is no connection.  No mistake.  Calling the wrong premises is deliberate.

The FWO staffer spills everything to the barmaid who answers.
She laps up all the salacious details and writes everything down (all the better to gossip about later.)

Her boss happened to take the next call, and pointed out that they were calling the wrong pub.

This did not bother the FWO, who said this was "not their concern" and pressed on regardless, informing the bemused publican of all the penalties that would apply not to him, but to Mine Host, etc etc etc.

The colleague publican phoned Mine Host, to inform him that the Fair Work Ombudsman was telephoning random total strangers to blab confidential information.

Mine Host phoned to the loose-tongued one at the FWO, a Mr. Duck O'Prewse-Coe (that is how his name sounded, he spoke broken English and was culturally most unfamiliar with Australia).

Mr Ducko was unmoved when Mine Host appraised him of Commonwealth Privacy Legislation.  Mr. Duck retorted to Mine Host that all that stuff "didn't matter".

Hmmm.... we'll see about that.

Mine Host then enquired why the Ombudsman would do something so utterly stupid as to phone a total stranger more than a thousand miles away, and blab confidential information to them?

The response (note: I am not making this up) was that the person making the complaint must have "given the wrong number then", as if that absolved the public servant of any blame for blabbing confidential information to random strangers.

Mine Host casually enquired of Mr. Ducko if the Fair Work Ombudsman ever did any of their own research - for example verifying phone numbers (say via the White Pages) - y'know, just to avoid situations that may end up with them being fired from government service for breaching privacy legislation, that sort of thing?

Mr. Ducko seemed to not understand the question.

Mine Host then asked:  Why had Mr. Ducko blabbed to a low-level staff member at the other pub, instead speaking to the manager?

Mr. Ducko seemed to not understand this question either.

The matter to'd and fro'd with a few phone calls over the next couple of weeks.

Somewhere, in between phone calls, Mr. Ducko must have done a bit of research into the provisions of the Commonwealth Privacy Legislation.

For in subsequent phone calls Mr. Peruse-Coe seemed to no longer be dismissive and buoyant about Mine Host's mention of said Commonwealth Privacy Legislation, in fact he seemed most strained and unwilling to dwell on the matter.

Mr. Ducko proved to be most receptive when Mine Host pointed out a fatal flaw in the complaint.  Mr. Ducko latched onto this flaw (like a blue heeler with lockjaw) and wasted no time in declaring the case "closed".

Follow up paperwork swiftly arrived confirming the matter was dead.

So continues life in over-regulated small business Australia.

Sunday, March 06, 2016

Cause not matched to "cure"

(Now former) Premier of NSW Barry O'Farrell resigned over minor inconsistencies in his recollections (or not) of receiving a bottle of wine as a gift.   Several years beforehand.  In what was the first few days after he was voted into office and busy forming government.

Way out of perspective?  You betcha!

The authority which fearlessly nabbed him, the NSW anti-corruption commission, ICAC, was not formed to root out the odd undeclared gift of a bottle of plonk.

However an entire week of Commission hearings was devoted to nothing but the very peripheral and very throwaway issue of one bottle of wine.  (Wonder what the real story was, politics is a dirty game - he was brought down by a bottle of wine?  Yeah right!)

However...... nobody should be sorry this fool is out of power.  He deserves every bit of public humiliation he gets;

For early in his premiership he did this, which some may remember:

In response to a pedestrian being beaten to death in an unprovoked attack on the street at 10pm, O'Farrell brought in tough laws to prevent any future attacks.

He legislated pubs to cease admitting patrons at 1.30am, and cease serving liquor at 3am.
All bottle shops in the entire state must cease sales at 10pm.

There are further rules on glass in pubs after 11pm, spirits (including single malt scotch) can be served after midnight only if it is mixed with Coca-Cola or other sugary fizz.

In O'Farrell's mind this is going to prevent a street mugging at 10pm?
Neither victim, nor killer, had been inside a pub that night.

Thus Mine Host is justifiably of the opinion that Barry O'Farrell is a buffoon.
Mine Host's opinion is correct.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Self Control

Ian Levers, President of the Queensland Police Union, has admitted striking people on duty.  When provoked.
Mine Host, on occasion a fierce critic of Qld Police, no admirer of their ethos, and a regular objector to many of Mr. Levers' statements, is here in full agreement with Mr. Levers.

The average Qld Police uniformed officer has, in Mine Host's opinion, exhibited commendable self-restraint when provoked, to the point they are compromising themselves.

Some of the spitting, sneering, invading personal space, etc that Mine Host has seen dished out to officers who are doing nothing more than walking the beat, should have resulted in a clobbering.

Most, nay all, cheek shown to police officers would not be exhibited toward any other two fit young men.  Were the same two officers copping abuse etc be not in a police uniform, but a t-shirt, they'd get very little cheek.

One only has to see how little cheek is given to, say, bikies to comprehend the difference.

The police should have respect.  When they fail to react in the face of intense provocation, they are exhibiting weakness (in the eyes of those insulting them.)

Mine Host believes the coppers should, when spat at, or insulted, get those nightsticks out and use them, and use them properly.

If giving curry to a copper resulted in the same scale of flogging that one would receive from a woodchopper or shearer, then there'd be a whole lot more respect for the police.  And a whole lot more listening when they speak.

Mine Host cannot fathom why the police don't belt people who actually ask for it.