Office of No Fact Checking

The Fair Work Ombudsman is among the more intellectually substandard of government agencies.

An example:

A disgruntled former employee made a complaint against Mine Host (this is quite common in the hospitality industry).

The Fair Work Ombudsman's first move is always to take a couple of months to get around to looking at the complaint.

Their second move is always to place a phone call to the "employer" (the actual terminology in their literature was "wrongdoer").

However this phone call is placed not to Mine Host, not even to the Wayside Tavern, but to the public bar of a pub some 1,900 km distant.

This other pub's name is nothing like the Wayside Tavern.  There is no connection.  No mistake.  Calling the wrong premises is deliberate.

The FWO staffer spills everything to the barmaid who answers.
She laps up all the salacious details and writes everything down (all the better to gossip about later.)

Her boss happened to take the next call, and pointed out that they were calling the wrong pub.

This did not bother the FWO, who said this was "not their concern" and pressed on regardless, informing the bemused publican of all the penalties that would apply not to him, but to Mine Host, etc etc etc.

The colleague publican phoned Mine Host, to inform him that the Fair Work Ombudsman was telephoning random total strangers to blab confidential information.

Mine Host phoned to the loose-tongued one at the FWO, a Mr. Duck O'Prewse-Coe (that is how his name sounded, he spoke broken English and was culturally most unfamiliar with Australia).

Mr Ducko was unmoved when Mine Host appraised him of Commonwealth Privacy Legislation.  Mr. Duck retorted to Mine Host that all that stuff "didn't matter".

Hmmm.... we'll see about that.

Mine Host then enquired why the Ombudsman would do something so utterly stupid as to phone a total stranger more than a thousand miles away, and blab confidential information to them?

The response (note: I am not making this up) was that the person making the complaint must have "given the wrong number then", as if that absolved the public servant of any blame for blabbing confidential information to random strangers.

Mine Host casually enquired of Mr. Ducko if the Fair Work Ombudsman ever did any of their own research - for example verifying phone numbers (say via the White Pages) - y'know, just to avoid situations that may end up with them being fired from government service for breaching privacy legislation, that sort of thing?

Mr. Ducko seemed to not understand the question.

Mine Host then asked:  Why had Mr. Ducko blabbed to a low-level staff member at the other pub, instead speaking to the manager?

Mr. Ducko seemed to not understand this question either.

The matter to'd and fro'd with a few phone calls over the next couple of weeks.

Somewhere, in between phone calls, Mr. Ducko must have done a bit of research into the provisions of the Commonwealth Privacy Legislation.

For in subsequent phone calls Mr. Peruse-Coe seemed to no longer be dismissive and buoyant about Mine Host's mention of said Commonwealth Privacy Legislation, in fact he seemed most strained and unwilling to dwell on the matter.

Mr. Ducko proved to be most receptive when Mine Host pointed out a fatal flaw in the complaint.  Mr. Ducko latched onto this flaw (like a blue heeler with lockjaw) and wasted no time in declaring the case "closed".

Follow up paperwork swiftly arrived confirming the matter was dead.

So continues life in over-regulated small business Australia.

Cause not matched to "cure"

(Now former) Premier of NSW Barry O'Farrell resigned over minor inconsistencies in his recollections (or not) of receiving a bottle of wine as a gift.   Several years beforehand.  In what was the first few days after he was voted into office and busy forming government.

Way out of perspective?  You betcha!

The authority which fearlessly nabbed him, the NSW anti-corruption commission, ICAC, was not formed to root out the odd undeclared gift of a bottle of plonk.

However an entire week of Commission hearings was devoted to nothing but the very peripheral and very throwaway issue of one bottle of wine.  (Wonder what the real story was, politics is a dirty game - he was brought down by a bottle of wine?  Yeah right!)

However...... nobody should be sorry this fool is out of power.  He deserves every bit of public humiliation he gets;

For early in his premiership he did this, which some may remember:

In response to a pedestrian being beaten to death in an unprovoked attack on the street at 10pm, O'Farrell brought in tough laws to prevent any future attacks.

He legislated pubs to cease admitting patrons at 1.30am, and cease serving liquor at 3am.
All bottle shops in the entire state must cease sales at 10pm.

There are further rules on glass in pubs after 11pm, spirits (including single malt scotch) can be served after midnight only if it is mixed with Coca-Cola or other sugary fizz.

In O'Farrell's mind this is going to prevent a street mugging at 10pm?
Neither victim, nor killer, had been inside a pub that night.

Thus Mine Host is justifiably of the opinion that Barry O'Farrell is a buffoon.
Mine Host's opinion is correct.

I'm not that crook of a Shot.

Former Prime Minister of Australia, Julia Gillard
This photo mock-up is a reaction to last night's federal budget delivered by the opposing political party.

Mine Host struggles to comprehend the mentality of those posting this picture all over the junk medium of Twitter.

1/. Julia Gillard was not the Prime Minister at the last federal election.  Her own government fired her from the job some time beforehand.

2/. That aside, the government of Julia Gillard and Kevin Rudd (the fellow with whom she job-shared the role of Prime Minister) was so bad that even someone who has had a frontal lobotomy could not maintain a straight face to post the above photo.

Playing at being Grown-Ups

Spokeswoman for the U.S. State Department, Jen Psaki

This woman is 36 years old, has never held any previous job except as a political staffer, and thinks this is an appropriate response to a tense geopolitical crisis.

What fool appointed her to this position?

She didn't get to this level of stupid in one day, she'd have to have been exhibiting the signs for a long time, possibly all her adult life....
.... yet someone appointed her spokesman for the State Department.

What is next?
#Putin. ur like unfriended dude, take ur army guys home lolz @statedeptspox


Embarrassing for citizens of the U.S.A.
Comedy for the rest of us.  Well, it would be if it wasn't so serious.



This picture reveals a much deeper message about the Obama administration.

Market Evidence

"No worker on a 457 visa is paid a salary higher than the going rate for Australians doing the same job."

The above statement is proved by Immigration department (federal govt.) reports.

It is not true.

Plenty of 457 visa holders are paid above the going rate.

Government reports are lies?  Hmmm.... well.....Yes and No  (in the best traditions of "Yes Minister").

Mine Host knows the government reports are falsified.  The government knows the reports are falsified.

How is this done?

As part of the application process sponsoring employers must provide "Evidence" of the going rate the vacant job.

However, you are not allowed to submit any evidence that shows a pay rate below a figure set by the immigration dept.

You couldn't make this up!

The Enemy Within

In the state of (say) mighty Queensland, a position as (say) an Appeals Court Judge becomes vacant.

The Attorney-General of the state confers with the president of that same Appeals Court, regards who to fill the vacancy.

The President of the (say) Appeals Court suggests two "acceptable" candidate judges:

1. Her husband, a (say) man, and
2. One of her friends, also a bloke.

Subsequently the Attorney-General appoints someone else.

Hmmm.....

Incensed that her advice was treated as just that, the President of the (say) Appeals Court finds the nearest microphone and sounds off no end about how the Attorney-General has a "bias against women" pointing out that the A-G has just appointed a male judge.

Stunned at this effrontery, the Attorney-General points out that the President of the (say) Appeals Court did not recommend even one female for the vacant position, just her husband & her mate.

At this comment by the Attorney-General, the court President then hits the roof, as do half the judiciary.

How dare the Attorney-General reveal to the public the two-faced hypocrisy, cosy nepotism, and the complete lack of judicial neutrality that seemingly abounds in mighty Queensland!


From the mass pile-on against the Attorney-General, one cannot but conclude that Judges consider themselves above the ethical standards that apply to the rest of us.

Gee, what a surprise!

You've got to be Kidding?

Workcover, Queensland's compulsory worker's compensation scheme, has demanded of Mine Host some information.

Mine Host's accountant has confirmed that under the prevailing legislation Workcover is entitled to demand certain information, and Mine Host is required to pony up this information, under threat of legal penalty.

The (bizarre) demand?

That Mine Host justify the annual total cost of shipping in liquor to the pub.

I'm not making this up.

The freight bill must be justified to Workcover.

This is out of the blue, not in connection to any claim, ongoing case, or anything.

President Obama proves he CAN seal the Border!

The borders of U.S. National Parks that is.

In what will become the defining image of the USA for 2013, the world is being treated to the spectacle of open air monuments being barricaded off and placed under armed guard.....

..... to "save money".

It would make as little sense to barricade off telegraph poles, and station armed guards around 'em.

The real damage?  To the image of the US National Parks Service.



American Taxpayers paid for this



Instead they get this

The Boss is Wrong!

"Any boss who sacks anyone for not turning up today is a bum."
 BOB HAWKE, after the historic victory of the yacht Australia II in the 1983 America's Cup.

Such a statement would be unthinkable today.
When Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke said this, in memorable circumstances, just plain old not coming to work was grounds for dismissal.

Times have changed markedly.  A boss who sacks anyone for not turning up would today be entering a dual world of legal pain and financial penalty.

Think I'm joking?  Just try it and see!

Someone once did not turn up for work at the Wayside Tavern.
Three weeks later Mine Host informed them they were not welcome back.  That only came about as the person actually turned up for work (after three weeks would you believe) as if nothing had happened.

Mine Host then entered a world of financial and legal pain, one in which due process was absent, and his "guilt" was taken for granted by the (cough) impartial system and (cough) unbiased commissioners.

Hearing the above phrase of the (then) Prime Minister quoted, as it is from time to time, is a "trigger phrase" for Mine Host.   Though it is unlikely there will ever be retribution or atonement for the wrongs perpetrated in the name of "unfair dismissal" legislation, in his more maudlin (or perhaps more realistic) moments, Mine Host dreams of someone carrying out the brutal thrashing of an ALP politician.

In the circumstances, such an event would be most deserved.

Under the Weather

The outcome of the recent Australian Federal Election caused an interruption to posting, for Mine Host has sought to seek solace in drink......

.... Principally Moet !

Normal posting to resume forthwith.

Your Safety in Their Hands........

Late July 2013:   (say the date was the 27th)

 

Health inspection of the kitchens at the Wayside Tavern.

The council health inspector was the usual under-achiever with a chip on his shoulder and zero empathy for anyone whose survival depends upon producing something.

 

The health inspector, like many such jobsworths, had migrated some 20-odd years ago from the English Midlands.  Crikey, who wouldn't have guessed that?

 



In his zeal to do Australia what his ilk did to the midlands, he found (minor) faults aplenty.

The "most serious" fault was "out of date" milk in the fridge.

Several 2 litre bottles were declared "significantly" out of date, having expired 14 days beforehand, on the 13th of July.

 

 

"This is a maximum fine of $100,000  - (pause for effect) - per bottle." Gloated the health inspector in a beta-male accent that had a resonance akin to fingernails on a blackboard.

 

Mine Host was ordered to dispose of the "severe health risk" on the spot.  Not being this ... person's... personal valet, Mine Host did not get on his knees and begin clearing milk out of the fridge.

 

Instead the Head Chef was summoned, and asked to "arrange" for the milk in the fridge to be destroyed.

 

The health inspector, with ire now aroused at Mine Host's blatant refused to personally perform demeaning physical tasks when ordered to, reminded Mine Host of the maximum fine (per bottle) and stated that the "health risk" must be removed immediately.

 

Mine Host stated to no one in particular that any fine for out of date milk would be contested most vigorously.

 

(Nothing gets a badge-toting pommy jobsworth riled faster than a challenge to their "author-a-ie.")

 

At this point Mine Host stopped the kitchenhand who was removing the milk and visibly destroying it, and took a photo of the "use by" date on each bottle.

 

Mine Host's forecast:  There won't be any fines issued, not ever.



Offer Withdrawn!

An actual human (i.e. someone with common sense) at the NBN has been in touch with the Wayside Tavern.

It turns out connection to the NBN has not been offered to the Wayside Tavern.  An offer was made, yes, but that was for a personal domestic connection.

"The cost for exactly the same connection (and exactly the same useage) is so much higher for a business that you wouldn't be interested."

When pressed, the consultant explained that businesses with employees are slugged "so much more heavily" that he is ashamed to even have to reveal the price.  (Note:  This is for exactly the same connection, {cough} speed, and useage as either a business with 0-6 employees or for a domestic household)

Rather bad luck for all the staff, most of whom do not have a home connection, and depend upon the connection available at work.  No NBN for them either!

NBN

The NBN is available to the Wayside Tavern!

Cost:    $150-$200 per month.
Speed:  6 mb per second.

Considering how much of Australia's money has been squandered on the NBN, and given the abovementioned cost and internet speed:

How does this offer stack up?

Why not a Thousand?

Perusing the newspapers (as one does) the eye was caught by yet another of those articles expounding on the evils of the restaurant industry, and how restaurants/cafes are underpaying staff, blah blah blah.

The article was accompanied by the usual photo of an indignant looking former employee standing with arms folded in front of an allegedly offending premises.

Knowing the complexity of the industrial awards, and that most restaurant operators have a choice:...

• Run the restaurant, or
• Devote themself full time to interpreting and applying the award.

..Mine Host is of the belief that were the industrial awards simplified, there would be much less confusion.

Try this one for size:

The payscale section of the industrial award  or instrument (not my terminology) that applies to the Wayside Tavern has 962 pay rates, yes Nine-Hundred-and-Sixty-Two.


(First published by Mine Host in comments at Prick With a Fork.)

Serious Breach

Any venue with a liquor licence must maintain a "Manager's Register."

This register must be available at all times for inspection by an officer of the Liquor Licencing Division (all police officers hold the office of "Liquor Inspector").

The register must show that at all times there is a licenced manager on duty.  (i.e. someone who holds a "Licenced Venue Manager's Licence" - sort of like a driver's licence).

For each manager the register shows:
Time started
Time finished
Licence no.
Name of manager
Signature.

The Wayside Tavern downloaded the register from the website of the Liquor Licencing Division.

On a certain evening a police officer from the (cough) specialist Liquor Enforcement section of Qld police called to inspect the register.

As a result of his inspection he issued a citation to the Wayside Tavern, reason: The register incorrectly formatted.

The specific breach:  The columns for print name and signature were separated by a single vertical line.

The citation stated that these columns must be demarcated by a double vertical line.

In case anyone missed it above:  The Wayside Tavern was using the Manager's Register downloaded from the website of the Liquor Licencing Division.

It should be noted here that nowhere in the Queensland Liquor Act is there any mention of what such a register should look like, or what information it must contain, the act merely mandates that a manager's register must be kept.

You couldn't make it up!

Premier Campbell Newman:  Keep-on-firing-them.

No Lifting....!

The Occupational Health and Safety officer mentioned in the previous post was a tad over-zealous when he mandated "4 points of contact" for anyone climbing a stair/ladder, but once he'd made the blunder he wasn't going to back off from it.

His aim was to make it impossible for anything to be carried up the ladder.

In his excitement at being able to make life hard for a business, he failed to notice his directive was actually impossible.

The purpose of the Wayside Tavern's ladder access to the loft was to carry stuff up, or to carry stuff down.

Combine this with the fact that the carrying/storage was for commercial purposes and he couldn't resist issuing a directive that would prevent use of the loft.....

.... For despite the his job title his main interest is not to improve safety, but to hamstring businesses.

Being too lazy/incompetent to write such a manual himself, he issued a directive that the Wayside Tavern was to write a procedure manual for climbing a ladder.

You couldn't make it up!

To Premier Campbell Newman:  Keep-on-firing-them!

Safer Workplace

A government inspector, from the "Office of Occupational Health & Safety" made a visit to the Wayside Tavern.

He was there to inspect an area in the back of house that had "been reported" as having an "unsafe" method of climbing into a loft.

The inspector assessed the ladder used to get to the loft and as it was simply a common step-ladder, declared it "unsafe".

The inspector issued a requisition that a new ladder be installed, this one to have "bannister rails" (would you believe?), and that the employer was to write up a formal "ladder climbing procedure" (to be signed by any/all staff before they climed this ladder).

Included in the procedure was to be the requirement that any person climbing this ladder must at all times maintain 4 (four) points of contact with the ladder.

.... Anyone wondering why the new state government is going to fire 20,000 public servants, will have part of the answer by reading the above.

The Billy Goat Gene

A challenge for anyone who fancies putting together a really complex venn diagram:

Make one of which elected ALP politicians have rooted which other ones. A very large sub-group would be those who have walked out on a spouse in favour of rooting a fellow elected ALP parliamentarian.

The urge to seemingly root anything that moves, without regard to any sense of propriety, seems to be limited to that one political party. (The sub-group of elected ALP parliamentarians who have been convicted of having sexual intercourse with children won't be the smallest group in the venn diagram project - just saying)

Wonder what causes it? And why no other party has the same scale of ...er.. compulsion the ALP does?

Working for their Members.... 2

Qld trade unions, mostly the public service unions, have of late engaged in much renting of garments.

They have protested outside parliament house, made hot & furious comments into TV cameras, and stated how terrible things are now in Qld... blah blah blah...

This the the squealing of the spoilt child who is told they can't have an extra dessert.

Under the previous government the public service, particuarly the clerical functions, enjoyed the status of "most favoured child".

Where were these unions (supposedly so concerned about their members) when under the erstwhile state government nurses were going weeks (& months) without pay?

That was the time to go on strike, to stand in "solidarity" with their sisters who toiled in hospitals, to really kick up a fuss, etc.

Instead there was nary a peep.

So why the sudden (& hypocritical) whingeing now, over lesser issues?

Working for their Members......

The groovy new government in the mighty state of Queensland, is coming up with lots & lots of much needed changes.

Things which due to the inertia of modern politics, we never dared imagine we'd ever see happen!

A proposed law will be that trade unions will not be able to make donations to political parties without this first being put to a vote of the members of that union.

This concept of members having input into what is done with their money is new for trade union leaders.

They can barely grasp this principle.

A horrifed trade union leader was on TV the very night this proposed law was suggested.....

..... without any sense of irony, he said that having members vote on political donations would be undemocratic.