Saturday, August 03, 2013

Your Safety in Their Hands........

Late July 2013:   (say the date was the 27th)
Health inspection of the kitchens at the Wayside Tavern.
The council health inspector was the usual under-achiever with a chip on his shoulder and zero empathy for anyone whose survival depends upon producing something.
The health inspector, like many such jobsworths, had migrated some 20-odd years ago from the English Midlands.  Crikey, who wouldn't have guessed that?

In his zeal to do Australia what his ilk did to the midlands, he found (minor) faults aplenty.
The "most serious" fault was "out of date" milk in the fridge.

Several 2 litre bottles were declared "significantly" out of date, having expired 14 days beforehand, on the 13th of July.
"This is a maximum fine of $100,000  - (pause for effect) - per bottle." Gloated the health inspector in a beta-male accent that had a resonance akin to fingernails on a blackboard.
Mine Host was ordered to dispose of the "severe health risk" on the spot.  Not being this ... person's... personal valet, Mine Host did not get on his knees and begin clearing milk out of the fridge.
Instead the Head Chef was summoned, and asked to "arrange" for the milk in the fridge to be destroyed.
The health inspector, with ire now aroused at Mine Host's blatant refused to personally perform demeaning physical tasks when ordered to, reminded Mine Host of the maximum fine (per bottle) and stated that the "health risk" must be removed immediately.
Mine Host stated to no one in particular that any fine for out of date milk would be contested most vigorously.
(Nothing gets a badge-toting pommy jobsworth riled faster than a challenge to their "author-a-ie.")
At this point Mine Host stopped the kitchenhand who was removing the milk and visibly destroying it, and took a photo of the "use by" date on each bottle.

Mine Host's forecast:  There won't be any fines issued, not ever.


Anonymous said...

Pommie Git...

Good to see you are still online, enjoy your work

kae said...

Glad you've found some spare time to make a post.
I've missed your presence.

Michael Baker said...

So the OberHealthenFuhrer is a member of DNA: National Dyslexics Association?

missred said...

Aahh, he surfaces from the bowels of bureaucratic hell.
Glad to see you unscorched.

Steve at the Pub said...

Yep! I've been super-busy at work. Plus I had a very major super-duper case of Writer's-block.
It just came out of nowhere, for no reason.

I'd open up the page, and sit there, gazing at a blank screen, unable to think of a word to type!

kae said...


Hmmm. That happens to me at work.

Not good.