Friday, September 29, 2006

I'm robbing you eh?

Pictured is a standard beer glass. 7 fluid ounces, (these days 200ml)

The glass is under a standard "flip" style tap, although too far from the tap (too low) to pour a perfect beer.

The "flip" type of tap is very easy to use, but there are those who are too stupid.

The tap should be snapped on & snapped off so fast that your wrist breaks, (otherwise you are doing it too slow)

UK blogger Magistrate Bystander has had a bit to say in a recent post about heads on beer & how pubs are "deliberately" adding head to beer to "short pour" customers. He actually goes as far as to call it an "active conspiracy" to defraud the drinking public!

His post has a nice picture of what is probably a pint sized glass, and has a very good head on it.

Clearly Magistrate Bystander has never tried to pour a beer. Or if he has, it must be that flat swampwater which Britain uses instead of beer.

Far from deliberately adding head to beer, Mine Host is forced by customer demand to put a decent head on each glass. "Come on, finish it off!" they will chant if there is not enough head.

Pictured is a standard beer glass, with a NSW style head on it.

However in mighty Queensland, they demand a thinner head, pictured below.

However far from plotting how to defraud the drinking public of a fraction of a fluid ounce from each glass, Mine Host (like most publicans) is battling the problem of waste. A few barstool experts have (in comments) implied that this is a "management issue" & is somehow easily fixed.

(Here is the picture of a perfect Queenslander)

Acutally equipment in hot weather is the bane of a publican's existence. There are times when nothing seems to go right. Equipment does break down, and servicmen are often several days turning up.

When the ambient air temperature is 44 degrees Centigrade, refrigeration equipment in a pub is hard pressed to do it's job even when working properly. It is made even harder when bar staff start talking to "hot guys" and absent mindedly leave the coolroom doors open.

Beer will not pour at all once it warms to 3 degrees. There is quite an art to pouring ANYTHING if the beer is even warmed to 1 deg C.

When a beer tap has not been used for a while (say a half hour) it is quite an art to NOT pour a beer that looks like this (70% foam)

Quite a lot of bar staff can't help foaming beer over the sides of the glass like this.

Far from making a killing short pouring to customers, Mine Host is fighting a constant battle to prevent 10% of his beer being lost through spillage.

Pouring a beer isn't as easy as it looks.

Pouring one without spilling is rather difficult to teach to some people. *sigh*


Bystander said...

"Clearly Magistrate Bystander has never tried to pour a beer. "

Are you serious? I have worked as a barman, and I have spent many years of my life visiting the pub on a daily basis.

I know what I am doing, and as a former retailer I know when I am being taken for a ride. And that's what the pubs round here are doing.

oigal said...

Mate, the first beer has damn near the perfect head and there is nothing worse than a "skinny" head. Working overseas the thing I miss the most is being able to go to the pub and have a icy cold beer, in a properly cleaned and chilled glass.

Its amazing how many people think they can pour a beer compared to those that actually can ..witness tapping a keg at any party..

It also seems the bigger the pub the lower the skills..nothing like a country pub that still cleans the lines every night with a few nips of gin added to the flush, works every time.

FXH said...

I've only ever done it from kegs and yes it is difficult, but then again some drinkers are pedantic idiots who couldn't undo their fly if their hands didn't naturally fall to about there.

I can't really see what the fuss is - except with Guiness, about heads. Most drinkers drink far more out of stubbies and cans than glasses or pots. Wheres the head there? hello?

oigal said...

You are gunna have to give me a few more hints where this pump is, if I am going to be able to enjoy a beer with a decent head..


Bernard said...

In November 1980, I was sent on assignment from Townsville to Innisfail. My car was not air-conditioned, humidity was in the 90s and the mercury in the 30s. After hours of driving I left a pool of sweat on the car seat and stepped into a bar. I ordered a pot only to be told the pipes were buggered and the beer wasn't cold enough. But the publican urged me to dig deep into a giant cork esky and grab a cold stubbie. I did. It was just the liquid side of ice and the finest drink I've ever tasted. So bugger your taps, go for the little bottle. Do you still need a bottle-opener to access a XXXX stubbie?

Ms J said...! gimme beeeerrrr! 2 more months before i 'plop' and can have all the beer, wine and cocktails on the menu!

(why have you not been updating your blog??? some of us keep our sanity by reading your stuff, dude!)

johnny said...

why cant you understand that things are different in different countries.....?