Thursday, August 04, 2005

Fools rush in.....

A wharf can be seen from the office window, the picture 2 posts ago shows this wharf.

Jumping from the wharf is prohibited. It is dangerous. For those who are too stupid to recognise danger, there are signs telling you. These signs also tell you of the legal penalties for jumping.

In case you are a "rebel", or can't think ahead far enough to conceptualise penalties, there is still the danger, (danger is a non-escapable, non-sueable thing which can "get" you, beware of it)

The double barrelled attack of danger AND penalties means, of course, that there is the odd person who DOES jump. Such person would have only a strong vacum between their ears.

Mine Host & his co-workers suspected two of the staff of occassionally doing some illicit jumping.

Unfortunately the two staff were both chefs. Chefs are a resource which is as rare as is common sense rare in wharf jumpers.

How to save the chefs from themselves? Informal advice was given, stern denials were the retort, written warnings were issued, again total denial. (The denials were of sufficient vigour to confirm everyone's suspicions that the chefs were indeed jumping from the wharf)

The wharf jumping habit was cured one day, in a most memorable manner:

The two chefs were jumping into the water, paddling to a ladder or stairs, climbing back up, then jumping again, all very much in the manner of a group of laughing children.

On one of his jumps, chef A knocked himself out. The tide was low, hard objects were in the water. Chef B jumped again to rescue chef A. This was not as easy as it first looked. Hidden hard objects was one reason only stupid people would jump, the other is strong currents. VERY STRONG. Chef B managed to get chef A out of unconsciousness & aware of what was happening.

However the currents had taken them quite some distance offshore. Being as the current is about 8 knots, there was no hope of them swimming back. They trod water & simply went with the flow, just as sailing boats do (for this reason sailing boats are quite rare in these parts).

Not having been seen by anyone else while they were jumping & knocking themself out, the 2 chefs would have drifted until they either came to another island, or were eaten by a crocodile.

Mine Host's best customers are the Customs Patrol. A small customs boat coming back from a job saw the bobbing heads, rescued them, & recognised the chefs who cook the mouth watering food the customs staff love to eat.

The customs staff did provide a happier ending for what would otherwise have been a mysterious missing persons case. Mine Host also notes that when they saved that pair, the customs crew did no favours for the gene pool.


oigal said...

Hi Mine Host,

Love your postings, at least find it reassuring that the dropkicks can find a place to live and work the world over.

Of course it can happen to anyone..Went scuba diving with local fisherman one day..told him we will dive here, he stopped, we dove off and he left ..we surfaced no boat..What are they thinking..


SylvanSurf said...

Sounds like you could lighten up a bit. There are some people who like a good rush, not because they are stupid, but because they are hard wired for adrenaline and modern society has softened/safened most everything. Danger can be just a way of affirming life by risking it.