Thursday, August 23, 2012

Cops are Fair

Scene: Regular meeting between liquor licencees & police, to discuss bad behaviour by the general public.

Dominant comment by officer in charge of police:
"The town will get out of hand unless we stop bad behaviour, and stop it now! I want to see you licencees showing "zero tolerance" for bad behaviour. Don't allow any bad behaviour. From now on police will not be tolerating bad behaviour from anyone!"

The officer in charge then swivels his head, giving all of us the "fish-eye" stare that afflicts cops. He is implying that we publicans are soft on bad behaviour, with resulting flow-on effect giving the town a public disorder problem.

**** ****** *****

Three days later:

Scene: Telephone call to the police station.

Mine Host: "Someone's just come past on the street and smashed a security grill and a window.
The whole event was captured by our street cameras, it is brilliant footage and very clearly shows who he is. We'll make a copy of the CCTV & bring it over to you so he can be charged!"

Police: "Er.... this happened tonight? ..... He's gone home now?.....Um... are you making an insurance claim?...... You're not?..... Er... then do you really need to bring us a copy of your CCTV?..... This sort of thing happens all the time... It is no big deal... It is only a smashed window... ....What do you want us to do about this?.... "


missred said...

Only bad behaviour from the cops will be tolerated. Fools.

Sackerson said...

Now call the first cop.

DavidC said...

Speaking of misconduct in a drinking establishment, there's this story from last week in my local fishwrap. The best part is the last two paragraphs:

"Gapinski was drunk when he entered an off-limits area of the restaurant and the janitor asked him to leave, according to charging papers.

"Gapinski allegedly refused, tried to steal the cash register and then began punching the janitor. The janitor and a patron were able to subdue Gapinski, who was found unconscious among shards of glass when police arrived."

I love that last line "...who was found unconscious among shards of glass when police arrived."

Knowing the cops in my hometown, they, the janitor, and the patron all stood around and had a right good time as the janitor and patron explained what went on. Smiles and laughs all around ending with handshakes as they carted Mr. Gapinski off to the cross-bar hotel.

(The guy should do jail time just for being supid enough to act like a drunken idiot in that bar in the first place. I've drank in that bar a couple of times and, believe me, they attract a pretty rugged crowd.)