Monday, May 26, 2014

Banks feeling Heat?

"Any publicity is good publicity"
The sentiment behind this very common saying is very sound.

Unless you're a bank, in which case the saying is:
"Any publicity is bad publicity"

In the past couple of weeks, Australian mega-bank Westpac announced a profit that was remarkable in size by just about any metric ones wishes to use.  (eg, percentage of deposits, percentage of loans extended, blah blah blah)

Concerned (justifiably) that making lots of money at the expense of the Australian public (only the most ingenuous or foolish harbour thoughts that banks are there for their intended purpose - to facilitate the economy and public economic benefit) Westpac mounted a survey of customers ("We've just made a record profit that'd choke a horse; do you feel (a) ripped off, (b) extremely ripped off, or (c) totally cheated out of your money?")

Mine Host knows this as he is not a Westpac customer yet received a mysterious telephone call:

The call was a survey about the "customer service experience" of his dealings with a Westpac staffer by the name of; Mr. Rapacious Lender, a business banking manager.

The only contact with Mr. Rapacious Lender was several weeks beforehand when the Wayside Tavern's accounant had telephoned once with a most basic enquiry.

The telephone surveyor was somewhat stunned to discover that nobody in "the household" had ever dealt with, nor even met, Mr. Rapacious Lender, nor was any member of "the household" in any manner a customer of Westpac.

It would seem that one phone call was sufficient for Mr. Rapacious Lender to report Mine Host & the Wayside Tavern as "new customers" to HQ in the big smoke.

3 comments:

S Bear said...

This Westpac's new customer care/quality control process working.

The bank managers are terrified of it. But also think it is a darkly amusing allocation of resources. I've spoken to some people who have been quality checked in the same while on the way back from a meeting. Its more efficient than most of the processes that go on in a big bank.

S Bear said...

Please forgive typing errors.

Mine Host said...

Didn't know that. Handy to know.
Thanks S Bear! Cheers.