Monday, May 11, 2015

Magic Document!


In this mighty land Australia there are enough unproductive, unnecessary and pointless administrative tasks that are mandatory, thus Mine Host has little appetite for electively embarking upon pointless stuff.

Then was discovered the power of the "Organisation Chart"
At first this phrase had no more meaning than the: "Yabba Dabba Doo Chart"

Mine Host had to enquire of his Accountant what is an "organisation chart"?

"Sort of like a family tree mate, but of the staff in the business.  It is like those charts you draw in the army, showing which rank commands which platoon, etc etc."

Thus Mine Host finally grasped what is an "organisation chart".

Unable to see the point of wasting the time to draw one, Mine Host paid little attention.

Then came the era of sponsored overseas staff.  The really switched on and alert (cough) Australian Immigration Department insisted upon every application being accompanied by an "organisation chart".

For, y'see, the existence of an "organisation chart" is proof that a business is actually operating.

Once Mine Host grasped the significance of this document, and that the vampire of 90% of irritating and pointless questions from the Immigration dept could be stymied by the garlic of a brief 15 minutes spent generating a chart in Microsoft Excel ....  he commenced churning out "organisational charts" faster than T-models coming off the Ford Motor Company production line.

The effect has to be seen to be believed.

The Immigration Dept has a most unhealthy both-hands-inside-the-pocket-of-their-overalls fascination with an "org chart".

And not just them, it'll shut up no end of pesky authorities, including supposedly savvy corporations (eg, banks).

You couldn't make up stuff like this.

The chart above was whipped up by Mine Host in response to a demand by the Immigration Dept.

Y'all ain't gonna believe this, but the chart above was accepted as proof the Restaurant Manager is actually working as a ..... restaurant manager, & not as say, a chambermaid or bartender.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brilliant. The "as required" was the master stroke.
For any Narks out there this a private joke and if you would choose to take it further it would not end up without eggies on your facies.

S Bear said...

You may not be surprised, but I have seen major public companies (mkt cap >1.0bn) that when the investigating accountants were sent in, they spent the first two weeks or so creating an org chart. Mainly so they could tell who worked for who, and what they did. The answer was never good, and was often revealing about why the business was failing in the first place. Don't underestimate the power of a simple picture to shine light on hidden fiefdoms.

mojo said...

The point is not the accuracy of the chart, or even it's veracity. The point is to make you produce one.

Good dog!

mojo said...

PS: What, no Saucier?