Monday, September 17, 2007

Saturday, September 08, 2007

From Pouring Beer to Making Number Plates

Mine Host had just thrown out a female who on the occassion of her previous visit had hit one of the staff and threatened another. This is grounds for an automatic life ban. Hence she was refused entry.

No sooner had she gone and the screeching protests faded from the ear, than one of the male staff approached Mine Host.

"That's the second time you've thrown out one of my friends, I'm giving you two weeks notice!"

Mine Host's response was routine: "Offer accepted Sunshine, however no need to wait two weeks, I want you off the premises two seconds from now."

The [now] ex-staff stammered "B..b...b...b...but..."

At this point it dawned on Mine Host that the fellow had been bluffing!

The bluff had been a very risky one, as a subsequent discovery by Mine Host was that as a consequence of his resignation, the dear departed resignee was off to jail.

Unbeknowns to Mine Host, he had been sentenced to a term prior to starting at the Wayside Tavern, being kept out only by virtue of "having found gainful employment".

His freedom had been contingent upon him remaining in said employment.........

....Oh me oh my.......

Saturday, September 01, 2007

The Hay Bale, an Eternal Chore

Mine Host, when even lower on society's totem pole than he is today, used to marvel at how publicans could actually moan about the "chore" of counting "washing baskets full" of money on a daily basis.

In a textbook example of the grass eternally growing greener accross the fence, Mine Host has learned what they meant.
Counting cash is simpler and more mind numbing than washing dishes. Though for obvious reasons counting cash cannot be done in the open by unmotivated uncaring staff who possess an actual "anti-work" ethic.

The sheer daily requirement of time that is spent handling a substance in quantities sufficient to (on a personal basis) solve all of one's short term problems and change one's life, has the ability to play havoc with the mind.