Friday, June 24, 2011

Horrific Workplace Injury (Part 1)

In recent decades one of the more intelligent moves by the UK was the exporting in the 1960's & 1970's to Australia of one of the less desireable cohorts of society. Once ensconced in the promised land, this cohort manifested itself as the "whingeing pom" or "pommy trade union leader".

Most migrants are motivated by a desire for an opportunity to have a better life.
This cadre were sour & disgruntled with their perceived lot in the UK, and no less sour & disgruntled upon discovering that Australia too placed some priority on "work" instead of "rights".
How much a better place Australia & Australian society would be today were it not for the arrival of this particular lot of freeloading rodents. Endless shame they bring to those of British origin, by dint of a shared land of origin.

One of these oxygen thieves, hired as an assistant manager, was the catalyst for a change in Mine Host's recruiting policy.
The policy change: Nobody is hired without first a photograph being sighted.
Mine Host's heart fell at the very instant he sighted Cecil Steptoe alighting from public transport. Had he first seen a photograph of this fellow the unhappy scenario in Part 2 of this post would never have unfolded.

Cecil Steptoe was tall, thin, cadaverous of complexion and indolent to the extreme. He looked every one of his 57 years + another 57. Lack of character shows in the face; the visage of Cecil Steptoe was one of sullen, sour blandness. Mrs. Steptoe too fitted the stereotype, right down to the dressing gown, slippers, hair curlers & meek personality.

The unfair dismissal laws of the time prevented Mine Host taking the common sense way out. However it wasn't difficult to get rid of Cecil Steptoe, as he didn't take kindly to constant suggestions that he do some actual work. Notice was soon given, though the Steptoes remained occupying staff accommodation (and kept hoeing into staff tucker) for some days between finishing up his "employment" (when describing the actions of Cecil Steptoe the word "work" could never conscionably be used) & catching onward transport.

During this time of departure hiatus Cecil Steptoe exhibited a slight limp, which Mine Host didn't think much about, except to note that the limp would manifest itself in either leg. (It says something of his mentality that though he was faking a limp, he didn't pay enough attention to it to remember which leg was supposedly the afflicted one).

Then, several days after finishing work, this blight upon the nation finally boarded public transport (spouse also) & departed.
Possibly the laziest person one would ever encounter, Cecil Steptoe was entirely devoid of initiative. Were he to walk past, say, the front gate banging in the wind, he would pass on by leaving it as it was, rather than latching it open. (For very good reason the previous sentence was written with "were he to walk past..." rather than with "were he to observe as he walked past....")

Every cent of pay he received was received under false pretences, every morsel of food he ate was undeserved and would have been better used by being fed to a dog.

Ever since, all job applicants have been requested to provide a photo.

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