Friday, November 30, 2012

Customer Confidentiality

One of the staff from the Wayside Tavern struts into the bank.
This person is often entrusted to carry a deposit to the bank and deposit it over the counter, and that is the full extent of their involvement with banking matters.
They are not a signatory or in any way authorised on any bank account belonging to the Wayside Tavern.

Upon fronting the counter this staff member enquires of the teller:

"Does my boss have any bank accounts that I don't know about?"

The teller gazes at their screen and taps some keys on their console.
"Yes, here's an account which you probably don't know about"

"I didn't know that particular account existed" says the staff member, looking at the screen, "I'd like to know what activity there has been on that account."

"There's actually a fair bit of activity" responds the teller, "in fact too much to tell you about.  The account also maintains a significant cash balance!"

The teller then prints statements for the year to date (nine months worth), and hands them over the counter.


Clarification:  The major sin in this tale is by the bank.
The staff member's sin is most minor alongside that committed by the bank officer.


Michael Baker said...

I think you have a typo there in the first sentence, Mine Host. Shouldn't it read, 'One of the staff formerly working for me...'?

Or is mediocre help that hard to find?

I trust you have gone to the ombudsman?

mojo said...

I think you mean "ex-teller and soon to be resident of HMP"

missred said...

I have decided that you seriously need me working for you!

Anonymous said...

As one of those people who prefer to keep a great deal of things private, it was a huge shock to me when I went into sales. I was dumbfounded at what people would tell me simply because I asked.

Anonymous said...

Cool. You can now make a motza by suing the bank for breaches of the Privacy Act etc etc

Mk50 of Brisbane

RebeccaH said...


Grill (and/or) fire this employee ASAP, but first: Grill! Why did this employee want to know the intimate details of the Wayside Inn, since he/she is apparently only a courier and not an accountant or manager? Is this person secretly working for a competitor, looking to undermine the Wayside Inn?

The only alternative is to bury said person on a beach somewhere. Your choice, but I'd opt for brutal non-civilized grilling, just for the entertainment.

I'm American, so I'm allowed to be brutally violent.

mojo, Unrepentant Yank said...

Or violently brutal, whichever. Depends.

We're well known for stupidity, too.

Mine Host said...

Michael Baker: The banking industry ombudsman is even more useless than the Telecoms industry ombudsman. I've a fantastic banking story to beat all banking stories coming up. The (cough) response of the Banking Industry Ombudsman is a (minor) part of that story.
Yes, help is that hard to find.

Mojo: There's more to the story, I'll finish it in another post.

Miss Red: You start Monday!

Anonymous: I've felt your amazement. There are some skilled sharks around who know that the inherent politeness of most people means they'll answer an intrusive question rather than snub you.

Mark50: You've put your finger bang on the heart of it. This is a banking confidentiality story, not a staff infidelity story.

Rebecca H: The person was a general manager. However it doesn't matter who they are, the bank should not provide details of customer accounts to a 3rd party.
Burying on a beach is unreliable, the carcass is likely to appear one day. Feeding someone to the crocodiles or sharks (both abound) is the only reliable method. It is likely used more often than we realise here. The occasional disappearance at sea happens, some of these may well be scores being settled, or love triangles being eliminated.