Recently Mine Host has done much gloating. His heart soars with joy to see one of his enemies receiving quite a deal of negative press. (Wicked of him to feel this way)
This enemy is an oil company, which shall not be named, but has allegedly spilled oil accross half the ocean's surface, and shall be referred to by the (you'll never crack this one) code name of: "Bippy"
Until recently Mine Host had been a long standing customer of Bippy. Years ago their staff, needing to increase the number of credit accounts, had entered the Wayside Tavern and signed up a willing Mine Host.
Issued with his own fuel card, Mine Host soon became blind to other brands of fuel. Over the subsequent 10 years or so it became a small pleasure to talk others into buying all their fuel at Bippy, and Mine Host did what little he could to steer all business in their direction.
He should have known better. Bippy is a corporation, thus cannot conceptualise the word "loyalty".
One day, in driving rain and far from home, Mine Host wheeled into a suburban Bippy station and filled his empty tank......... then the Bippy fuel card was rejected by the card-swipe machine. The attendant enquired did Mine Host have "an alternative means" to pay for the fuel.
They sorta gotcha at this point, as one can hardly take the fuel back out & return it to them.
No, Mine Host was not carrying cash nor credit card. The attendant got "the credit department" on the phone, who informed Mine Host that his credit was cut off, as the bill had not been paid. A robust exchange of opinions followed, at the end of which Mine Host was not likely to be forgotten by the credit manager (regional) for Bippy. Good.
Fortunately Mine Host was able to contact a relative who dwelled nearby to attend the station & pay for the fuel in his tank.
Mine Host then had his office provide evidence to the Bippy credit dept that the account payment had cleared a couple of weeks previously. Mine Host then telephoned the Bippy credit manager to rub his nose in this snippet of information.
Bippy credit staff had banked the payment, but not entered the payment onto Mine Host's account statement. How did Bippy handle this incredibly stupid and for them embarrassing oversight?
By telephoning Mine Host & acknowledging that, Yes, the bill was technically paid, but that (in a heated & belligerent tone of voice) "It isn't just us, You've got to wear some of the blame for this!"
Hmmmm..... (This is where Mine Host should have parted company with Bippy.)
A year later, Mine Host fills up at the nearest Bippy, (the one from which staff had proactively recruited him as a customer). The fuel card was rejected by the card-swiper. Mine Host, having learned from experience, knew payment of the account had cleared many days previously.
The attendant called the manager. Mine Host cooled his heels for several minutes until the manager, a female aged about Thirty, appeared. She started off by asking Mine Host (in a none too friendly manner) how he intended to pay for the fuel that he had put in his car?
Mine Host indicated his Bippy card. The manager (obtusely) spoke to Mine Host as if he wasn't very smart, pedantically stating the he had to pay with either cash or one of several well known credit cards. Mine Host rarely carries any means of payment, and said so.
The manager (now with chin out) thrust a printed form onto the counter & stated (loudly) that being as his credit was cut off "for non payment of the account" and that he was refusing to pay, Mine Host was obliged to identify himself, and (right there in public) he would tell her his birthday, home address, full name, and prove all this by displaying his driver's licence.
This was too much. Carrying a Bippy fuel card, with "Wayside Tavern" branded on it, within sight of the Wayside Tavern (on the next block), and having paid the bill, Mine Host was now rather offended.
By now the entire shop full of queued fuel customers was intently watching & listening.
Mine Host would drop dead before he would tell most people, especially in public with other people watching & listening, his full name, home address and date of birth. And he said so.
The manager belligerently stated that if Mine Host did not, she would "call the cops". Unintimidated, Mine Host advised her that it was a free country and with or without his permission she could telephone to whomever she wished.
She disappeared, reappearing several minutes later to (with a smirk) inform Mine Host "they're on their way". Mine Host wasn't particularly interested in anything she had to say, and hadn't been since she stated out loud in public that he didn't pay his bills.
Meantime Mine Host had telephone his secretary, telling her what had happened, and asking her to pop down to the Bippy with $17.40 for him to pay the bill with.
In the interim a police car pulled alongside the shop, and Constable Concentration alighted. Entering the shop he was claimed by the manager, who commenced explaining the "crime" to him.
Mine Host paid little attention, knowing she would be busy for quite some before Constable Concentration grasped what business this affair was of the police's, if any.
Meantime secretary arrives, with $17.40 in cash, and paperwork to prove the account payment is up to date.
Mine Host then strolls over to where the manager is vainly attempting to explain the matter to an ever more flummoxed Constable Concentration. Mine Host leans past Constable Concetration, plonks the $17.40 on the counter, in a brittle voice instructs her that she will provide a receipt for payment, and thrusts at her a copy of the paperwork proving the account is paid, informs her that this proves the bill was paid, and that perhaps she should brush up on her facts before making loud public proclamations on the subject of Mine Host's bill paying proclivities. Mine Host went on to state that he would accept a written apology from her, and nothing less.
Then Constable Concentration, who as far as Mine Host was concerned wasn't involved, chimed in with an angry and most incorrect "hang on, it is not her fault, don't start getting stuck into her!"
Unable to believe (actually well able to believe) that someone could be so stupid, yet remain in the police force, Mine Host rounded on Constable Concentration & stated "When I require your advice, I'll make it abundantly clear to you, until then be quiet"
Then followed several seconds while every muscle in the officer's face contorted, creating a most amusing spectacle of varied facial expressions, all underlined by a most black cloud forming over his head.
He then spluttered something lame (most police have debating skills of zero, and if unable to arrest or write a ticket, make fools of themselves). Mine Host ignored him, gave the Bippy manager another free character assessment and left, but not before advising Constable Concentration to not overdo it and blow a gasket.
Since that date Mine Host has not darkened the door of a Bippy service station.
Mine Host now directs needy motorists to anywhere but Bippy, and though has made no comment to his staff, he notes that all 60 of them have been politic enough to not fill up at Bippy, ever.
From time to time Mine Host delights in reminding Bippy of this.
Mine Host did contact senior personnel at Bippy, who sealed his opinion by rounding on him for his "bad credit history". (Card refused Twice, you see) Then followed a most robust exchange of opinions, ensuring Mine Host is not forgotten by them. Good.
They may be "executives" (whatever that may mean) but they aren't smart enough to know that as a business ethos "the customer is always wrong" is taken them down the wrong path.
Every square inch of extra oil spill, every dollar of lost value, every dollar of cleanup cost, (all reported on the news) is music to Mine Host's ears.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Back it Up
Mine Host, when overseas a few years ago, was amused by many quirks of the country he was in. These quirks didn't worry him much, as he didn't have to live with these aberrations, there were merely another difference to enjoy.Amonst these quirks were the passenger side mirrors on motor vehicles. Instead of regular mirrors these were convex, and actually had the phrase "Objects in Mirror are Closer than they Appear"
Convex mirrors certainly give a wider field of view in the passenger side mirror, however they also make reversing using the passenger mirror rather difficult. Nigh on impossible to reliably reverse in a straight line.
What does it matter some greenhorn will ask? Plenty if reversing into a tight spot, or even into a parking bay between shed trusses.
Body tippers, twin steer bogey drives, were Mine Host's charge at one point in his life, and as anyone who has reversed trucks knows very well, using the passenger side mirror allows for far more accuracy in reversing, especially with larger machines.
One can image Mine Host's distress when upon returning to Australia he discovered that in his abscence passenger side mirrors had been "improved" from flat to convex!
Instead of hamstringing those who can drive, the law should instead penalise those who are unable to reverse properly.
Mine Host could (with a flat mirror) reverse for as far as you like, to within 2 inches laterally of a line, using the passenger side mirror, or within 6 inches using the driver's side mirror.
Not important the greenhorn may say.
Stick to your field of expertise Mine Host will say.
Friday, May 07, 2010
10 - 2 = ?
Kylie keeps her job by a most slender margin. Almost hourly Mine Host ponders the viability of dismissing her.
A customer at the bar has been served an order to the value of $29.80
He tenders a $20 note & a $10 note to Kylie.
This flummoxes her.
Kylie is 21. For more than 15 years cash registers have calculated change. Every sale she makes she uses the "Amount Tendered" facility on the Cash Register. Not this time.
She furrows her brow & gazes uncomprehendingly at the cash in her hand. She has no idea how much change to give.
She attempts to subtract $29.80 from $30.00 using pencil & notepaper. She becomes more & more panicky as she is unable to get an answer that is satisfactory to the customer.
She silences the customer with an icy glare (he is trying to tell her how much change he wants).
Her sums on the notepaper have revealed several different answers. The customers are telling her a totally different answer (0.20)
She knows the customer (motivated by greed) will be telling her an inflated amount, she knows the rest of the customers (motivated by malice, for their own entertainment they surely are trying to get her into trouble with the boss) will be telling her a wrong amount.
Why doesn't she press "30.00" into the waiting cash register? The current total on it is "29.80".
For reasons unfathomable, people do things like this, every day.
......as anyone who has dealt with the entire spectrum of humanity will know.
Minutes pass, the other customers are waiting. She lets them wait, as she hasn't yet completed the transaction, and to punish them for telling her the wrong answer to her dilemma (0.20)
Finally she summons the bar manager on duty, her boyfriend Dave.
"Daaaaaaaaave" she bleats plaintively. The state of panic she has worked herself into means she won't be much use for a while.
Dave arrives, sends her on a 5 minute breather, and tosses a Twenty Cent coin to the unhappily waiting customer.
So continues life behind the bar.
A customer at the bar has been served an order to the value of $29.80
He tenders a $20 note & a $10 note to Kylie.
This flummoxes her.
Kylie is 21. For more than 15 years cash registers have calculated change. Every sale she makes she uses the "Amount Tendered" facility on the Cash Register. Not this time.
She furrows her brow & gazes uncomprehendingly at the cash in her hand. She has no idea how much change to give.
She attempts to subtract $29.80 from $30.00 using pencil & notepaper. She becomes more & more panicky as she is unable to get an answer that is satisfactory to the customer.
She silences the customer with an icy glare (he is trying to tell her how much change he wants).
Her sums on the notepaper have revealed several different answers. The customers are telling her a totally different answer (0.20)
She knows the customer (motivated by greed) will be telling her an inflated amount, she knows the rest of the customers (motivated by malice, for their own entertainment they surely are trying to get her into trouble with the boss) will be telling her a wrong amount.
Why doesn't she press "30.00" into the waiting cash register? The current total on it is "29.80".
For reasons unfathomable, people do things like this, every day.
......as anyone who has dealt with the entire spectrum of humanity will know.
Minutes pass, the other customers are waiting. She lets them wait, as she hasn't yet completed the transaction, and to punish them for telling her the wrong answer to her dilemma (0.20)
Finally she summons the bar manager on duty, her boyfriend Dave.
"Daaaaaaaaave" she bleats plaintively. The state of panic she has worked herself into means she won't be much use for a while.
Dave arrives, sends her on a 5 minute breather, and tosses a Twenty Cent coin to the unhappily waiting customer.
So continues life behind the bar.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I've been hired, now I'll misbehave! (2)
New Manager at the Wayside Tavern. Seemingly the best of an extensive shortlist
References all stood up, right answers given in interview and required attitudes displayed.
The unravelling began on the 2nd day. New Manger (very much on probation) declares that most pub income streams are not able to be improved, nor will they atrophy from lack of attention, "just let it happen".
This considered opinion from a management grade appointment is sufficient to require the administration of smelling salts, for the revival of Mine Host.
Except bar trade, Probationary New Manager seemed to feel that bar trade is "the only area where takings can be improved" so he would pour effort into that.
Mine Host then watched as Temporary Probationary New Manager ordered and drank in quick succession (without paying) Four Schooners of full strength beer. (1.7 litres)
This was about halfway through the workday.
The following day the Temporary Probationary Possible New Manager again ordered and drank in quick succession Four Schooners of full strength beer. Again no payment was made for these drinks.
Alone in the lounge bar for his quick mid-shift binge (bar staff were busy elsewhere), a demonstration was given of the amount of effort that would be poured into improving the bar trade: Arriving customers were handled by studiously ignoring them & pretending he was himself a customer.
The day after the Temporary Pending Possible New Manager again sat on the customer side of the bar for his mid-shift Four Schooners that he did not pay for.
He parked himself in a corner so he could not see customers were any to arrive.
However at that time he was the only staff on duty in the bar.
It is unlikely that this fellow has listed Mine Host as one of his referees, probably the resume does not even show the employment at the Wayside Tavern. Subsequent employers have never contacted Mine Host for a reference.
References all stood up, right answers given in interview and required attitudes displayed.
The unravelling began on the 2nd day. New Manger (very much on probation) declares that most pub income streams are not able to be improved, nor will they atrophy from lack of attention, "just let it happen".
This considered opinion from a management grade appointment is sufficient to require the administration of smelling salts, for the revival of Mine Host.
Except bar trade, Probationary New Manager seemed to feel that bar trade is "the only area where takings can be improved" so he would pour effort into that.
Mine Host then watched as Temporary Probationary New Manager ordered and drank in quick succession (without paying) Four Schooners of full strength beer. (1.7 litres)
This was about halfway through the workday.
The following day the Temporary Probationary Possible New Manager again ordered and drank in quick succession Four Schooners of full strength beer. Again no payment was made for these drinks.
Alone in the lounge bar for his quick mid-shift binge (bar staff were busy elsewhere), a demonstration was given of the amount of effort that would be poured into improving the bar trade: Arriving customers were handled by studiously ignoring them & pretending he was himself a customer.
The day after the Temporary Pending Possible New Manager again sat on the customer side of the bar for his mid-shift Four Schooners that he did not pay for.
He parked himself in a corner so he could not see customers were any to arrive.
However at that time he was the only staff on duty in the bar.
It is unlikely that this fellow has listed Mine Host as one of his referees, probably the resume does not even show the employment at the Wayside Tavern. Subsequent employers have never contacted Mine Host for a reference.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
I've been hired, now I'll misbehave!
Executive level job applicants are just as likely to be useless, incompetent, lazy, and stupid as entry level applicants.
By the time a shortlist is presented to Mine Host each candidate has undergone considerable filtering and investigation. Hiring senior appointments is not an easy process.
At least 24 hours of Mine Host's own time is then invested in every candidate on the shortlist.
Distressingly, about Four in every Five who is hired turn out to be incapable of doing the job. Degrees of incompetence/stupidity are varied. Some actually are completely useless, this is one of those:
A new manager was appointed for the Diver's Arms. She lasted Two days. Mine Host can only blame himself, for her resume did state that she was a mature age law student, though her interest in "human rights" issues was dealt with somewhat more obliquely.
The resume said much else, including 30-odd years of good work history, but that one point should have flagged to Mine Host that the candidate was not psychologically suitable for a command position.
It didn't take long to show. About Ten minutes in fact.
The first day was spent investigating and shortlisting for a new coffee supplier.
This alone meant she was for the high jump.
Mine Host was coping with realisation of the enormity of the mistake he had made, when she dropped an even bigger clanger;
She wouldn't be able to "formally take up the position" until "tribal elders" entered the premises, held a "welcome to country ceremony" and "formally welcomed her" to the premises.
This did it.
For several reasons:
1. "Formal" commencement of the position (including some key responsibilities) was to be delayed until some hocus pocus ceremony, however formal commencement of salary was to immediate!
2. The land under the Diver's Arms, being "dry" until the utilisation of modern water reticulation technology, was not acknowledged, or used in any way by pre-historic peoples. A no-man's land between the lands of Three tribes, it is now claimed by all Three tribes. Which tribe was going to conduct the "ceremony" and what would this do to relations between the business and the other Two tribes?
3. The concept of "welcome to country" ceremony is unknown to any of the Three tribes. Such a ceremony, likely the first conducted by any of the Three, would lack gravitas, and be conducted by some over-educated political agitator rather than traditional elders (who won't invent new traditions).
4. It is Mine Host, as boss, who decides who is on/off the payroll, and when they come & go.
By the time a shortlist is presented to Mine Host each candidate has undergone considerable filtering and investigation. Hiring senior appointments is not an easy process.
At least 24 hours of Mine Host's own time is then invested in every candidate on the shortlist.
Distressingly, about Four in every Five who is hired turn out to be incapable of doing the job. Degrees of incompetence/stupidity are varied. Some actually are completely useless, this is one of those:
A new manager was appointed for the Diver's Arms. She lasted Two days. Mine Host can only blame himself, for her resume did state that she was a mature age law student, though her interest in "human rights" issues was dealt with somewhat more obliquely.
The resume said much else, including 30-odd years of good work history, but that one point should have flagged to Mine Host that the candidate was not psychologically suitable for a command position.
It didn't take long to show. About Ten minutes in fact.
The first day was spent investigating and shortlisting for a new coffee supplier.
This alone meant she was for the high jump.
Mine Host was coping with realisation of the enormity of the mistake he had made, when she dropped an even bigger clanger;
She wouldn't be able to "formally take up the position" until "tribal elders" entered the premises, held a "welcome to country ceremony" and "formally welcomed her" to the premises.
This did it.
For several reasons:
1. "Formal" commencement of the position (including some key responsibilities) was to be delayed until some hocus pocus ceremony, however formal commencement of salary was to immediate!
2. The land under the Diver's Arms, being "dry" until the utilisation of modern water reticulation technology, was not acknowledged, or used in any way by pre-historic peoples. A no-man's land between the lands of Three tribes, it is now claimed by all Three tribes. Which tribe was going to conduct the "ceremony" and what would this do to relations between the business and the other Two tribes?
3. The concept of "welcome to country" ceremony is unknown to any of the Three tribes. Such a ceremony, likely the first conducted by any of the Three, would lack gravitas, and be conducted by some over-educated political agitator rather than traditional elders (who won't invent new traditions).
4. It is Mine Host, as boss, who decides who is on/off the payroll, and when they come & go.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Suffer Children, Suffer!
Rape is something Mine Host is (to put it mildly) most uncomfortable about.
The 2 children of one of the staff had been raped. This should be a momentous event.
The mother was somewhat put out about it. (As opposed to Mine Host's attitude in the same situation, which would have been downright homicidal) The rapist was her brother. The rapes were a longstanding event.
Yes, she was rather put out about it.
Heaven only knows how the 2 girls felt about it, by the time they were teenagers it was a semi-regular part of their lives.
The mother of the children was going away for a week, shopping. She delivered her children to her brother's house (the rapist) where they would be staying for the week.
As unhappy as she was about the children being raped, she was downright irate that her co-workers were uncomfortable with her choice of billet for her "own children".
Reason given (angrily) for placing her children with her brother? (who no doubt promptly reasserted his "raping rights") .........
.......... apparently is it "part of" her "culture" for uncles to care for children if the parents are otherwise occupied.
Mine Host is a firm believer that there should be a licence to breed.
The 2 children of one of the staff had been raped. This should be a momentous event.
The mother was somewhat put out about it. (As opposed to Mine Host's attitude in the same situation, which would have been downright homicidal) The rapist was her brother. The rapes were a longstanding event.
Yes, she was rather put out about it.
Heaven only knows how the 2 girls felt about it, by the time they were teenagers it was a semi-regular part of their lives.
The mother of the children was going away for a week, shopping. She delivered her children to her brother's house (the rapist) where they would be staying for the week.
As unhappy as she was about the children being raped, she was downright irate that her co-workers were uncomfortable with her choice of billet for her "own children".
Reason given (angrily) for placing her children with her brother? (who no doubt promptly reasserted his "raping rights") .........
.......... apparently is it "part of" her "culture" for uncles to care for children if the parents are otherwise occupied.
Mine Host is a firm believer that there should be a licence to breed.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Child Care
Lodging at the Wayside Tavern on a few days break was the local "Child Welfare" officer.
Two infant children were also staying in the same room.
She (the Child Welfare officer) spent most of each day and all of each night "gone out to the pub", she simply locked the kids in the room and drew the curtains.
Toward these infants she displayed only irritation & anger, they made noise, were an impediment to attracting men, and made demands on her time.
Mine Host bailed her up & advised that she'd better start caring for the infants, and be seen to be taking care of them.
In the manner of a police officer announcing that road rules are only for others, she retorted triumphantly that reporting her "wouldn't work" as she was the one to whom Mine Host would have to make such a report. "So there!!"
She then paled, realising that Mine Host's intention was to contact her Head of Department in Canberra. Panicking now that her sinecure was in jeapoardy, and knowing the consequences she was instrumental in inflicting upon others for much less, she hotly accused Mine Host of "racism".
Realising this wasn't going to fly very far she cravenly began attempting to placate Mine Host. All sorts of promises were made, including broad hints of extensive and "wild" bedroom favours.
Mine Host, incredulous that she believed he was not motivated by disgust at the treatment of the infants, pointed out that he would not be warned off, could not be bought off, and that unless her infant care exceeded his expectations pronto, he would be on the phone to the head of her Department.
Two infant children were also staying in the same room.
She (the Child Welfare officer) spent most of each day and all of each night "gone out to the pub", she simply locked the kids in the room and drew the curtains.
Toward these infants she displayed only irritation & anger, they made noise, were an impediment to attracting men, and made demands on her time.
Mine Host bailed her up & advised that she'd better start caring for the infants, and be seen to be taking care of them.
In the manner of a police officer announcing that road rules are only for others, she retorted triumphantly that reporting her "wouldn't work" as she was the one to whom Mine Host would have to make such a report. "So there!!"
She then paled, realising that Mine Host's intention was to contact her Head of Department in Canberra. Panicking now that her sinecure was in jeapoardy, and knowing the consequences she was instrumental in inflicting upon others for much less, she hotly accused Mine Host of "racism".
Realising this wasn't going to fly very far she cravenly began attempting to placate Mine Host. All sorts of promises were made, including broad hints of extensive and "wild" bedroom favours.
Mine Host, incredulous that she believed he was not motivated by disgust at the treatment of the infants, pointed out that he would not be warned off, could not be bought off, and that unless her infant care exceeded his expectations pronto, he would be on the phone to the head of her Department.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Marriageable Ladies
Sometimes the most shocking things are learned by accident.
Mine Host, after one of those stupid training courses that are part and parcel of existence in a modern western nanny society, is in discussion with the Trainer (from down south) and Two fellow participants, well-adjusted rather attractive young ladies, sisters, aged roughly 20-25 years.
Not without a touch of wistfulness, the Trainer enquires as to why they aren't yet married?
The enthusiastic smiling reply came as if the answer was perfectly normal, something to be proud of, and rather dampens the conversation for Mine Host & the Trainer, though the girls don't understand this.
"Oh no, our father isn't finished with us yet!"
If it is only their father enforcing conjugal rights, then they are better off than many.
Mine Host, after one of those stupid training courses that are part and parcel of existence in a modern western nanny society, is in discussion with the Trainer (from down south) and Two fellow participants, well-adjusted rather attractive young ladies, sisters, aged roughly 20-25 years.
Not without a touch of wistfulness, the Trainer enquires as to why they aren't yet married?
The enthusiastic smiling reply came as if the answer was perfectly normal, something to be proud of, and rather dampens the conversation for Mine Host & the Trainer, though the girls don't understand this.
"Oh no, our father isn't finished with us yet!"
If it is only their father enforcing conjugal rights, then they are better off than many.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Marching Orders Part #6
Law firm Ding, Dong & Dell had acted for Mine Host for many years. They were privy to all his affairs.
Mine Host becomes embroiled in a dust-up with his landlord. The landlord, an arm of a merchant bank, is named (say) McBank.
Mine Host was being shafted by the landlord. In hindsight this was landlord's original intention.
Mine Host visited Ding, Dong & Dell in their CBD tower chambers (river-view from each office) met with the managing partner, explained the unfolding scenario and asked would there be any impediment to D,D & D acting for him in the matter?
"Yes, no conflict of interest, no impediment whatsoever to prevent us acting for you"
Time passed, A mediation conference was looming, Mine Host contacted Ding, Dong & Dell for desperately needed advice.
The response was a terse letter explaining there was a conflict of interest for them and that they would not be able to act in this matter.
Too panicked to have time to spare for shoving pins, nay roofing nails, into little wax dolls of his erstwhile lawyers, Mine Host went to the next office tower, rode the lift up to the first law firm listed on the lobby wall, and found himself a new lawyer.
The mediation conference is in the offices of Acme Properties, a hard-nosed ruthless bunch of bullies somehow involved in this mess.
Water is sipped & small talk made until all parties arrive, the intercom peals, & a chirpy female voice announces to the directors of Acme that their lawyer has arrived: a "Mr So-and-So of Ding, Dong & Dell."
This was going too far. Mine Host objected most vehemently to the presence of Ding, Dong & Dell, stating the reason why.
The conference, when eventually held, is a failure.
The matter is finally decided in the most expensive of circumstances in Sydney. A Three-cornered spat, Mine Host had not imagined there could exist such a thing, a legal dispute consisting of Three equally opposing parties.
The Three parties are:
Mine Host
XYZ Insurance Company (representing Acme Properties, by now fallen out with McBank)
McBank
Readers may be assured it was unpleasant enough being taken on by McBank, without having XYZ pumelling from the opposite direction. XYZ & McBank used most of their energy getting stuck into each other, Mine Host was more or less crumbs, however that was all that was needed. Mine Host lost his shirt.
The clanger?
At the hearing XYZ Insurance Company were represented by the firm Ding, Dong & Dell.
Mine Host becomes embroiled in a dust-up with his landlord. The landlord, an arm of a merchant bank, is named (say) McBank.
Mine Host was being shafted by the landlord. In hindsight this was landlord's original intention.
Mine Host visited Ding, Dong & Dell in their CBD tower chambers (river-view from each office) met with the managing partner, explained the unfolding scenario and asked would there be any impediment to D,D & D acting for him in the matter?
"Yes, no conflict of interest, no impediment whatsoever to prevent us acting for you"
Time passed, A mediation conference was looming, Mine Host contacted Ding, Dong & Dell for desperately needed advice.
The response was a terse letter explaining there was a conflict of interest for them and that they would not be able to act in this matter.
Too panicked to have time to spare for shoving pins, nay roofing nails, into little wax dolls of his erstwhile lawyers, Mine Host went to the next office tower, rode the lift up to the first law firm listed on the lobby wall, and found himself a new lawyer.
The mediation conference is in the offices of Acme Properties, a hard-nosed ruthless bunch of bullies somehow involved in this mess.
Water is sipped & small talk made until all parties arrive, the intercom peals, & a chirpy female voice announces to the directors of Acme that their lawyer has arrived: a "Mr So-and-So of Ding, Dong & Dell."
This was going too far. Mine Host objected most vehemently to the presence of Ding, Dong & Dell, stating the reason why.
The conference, when eventually held, is a failure.
The matter is finally decided in the most expensive of circumstances in Sydney. A Three-cornered spat, Mine Host had not imagined there could exist such a thing, a legal dispute consisting of Three equally opposing parties.
The Three parties are:
Mine Host
XYZ Insurance Company (representing Acme Properties, by now fallen out with McBank)
McBank
Readers may be assured it was unpleasant enough being taken on by McBank, without having XYZ pumelling from the opposite direction. XYZ & McBank used most of their energy getting stuck into each other, Mine Host was more or less crumbs, however that was all that was needed. Mine Host lost his shirt.
The clanger?
At the hearing XYZ Insurance Company were represented by the firm Ding, Dong & Dell.
Monday, January 11, 2010
A Bright Future in Traffic Branch!
A police officer was standing in the yard of the Wayside Tavern.
In one of the more astounding (and public) displays of "Clueless Constable Syndrome" he pointed to the spot in the security fence where Mine Host had indicated trespassers had entered the premises the night before, and said (his resigned tone indicating he believed himself in the presence of intellectual inferiors):
"Dunno how you can complain people got into the place, there's a hole been made in the fence right at that spot!"
In one of the more astounding (and public) displays of "Clueless Constable Syndrome" he pointed to the spot in the security fence where Mine Host had indicated trespassers had entered the premises the night before, and said (his resigned tone indicating he believed himself in the presence of intellectual inferiors):
"Dunno how you can complain people got into the place, there's a hole been made in the fence right at that spot!"
Monday, January 04, 2010
Back to the 1970s
Australia is beset by many things, including a very retro industrial award. Introduced a few days ago with the change of calendar year, it is one of the most backward documents Mine Host has read. All 150-odd pages of it.
The Hospitality Industry General Award is a step directly back to the 1970s.
A long outspoken campaigner for simplification of the industrial awards covering his industry, Mine Host alas can find nothing positive in the new award.
This ONE new award is more complex than the SIX it replaces. (that is, the Six, including subsets of awards, under which Mine Host's operation currently operates)
As this new award is far more employer unfriendly than those it replaces, it will be implemented in stages, beginning in July.
For were this award to be implemented in one swoop, there would be a risk of social, industrial, and possibly political upheaval on an unprecedented scale (for Australia)
The government is relying on the "boiled frog" phenomenon to get the award past small business, ramping it up over a few years.
Hmm......
Under the new award some aspects of the Wayside Tavern will no longer be economic, thus will be cut or eliminated, as will be jobs cut or eliminated.
Mine Host estimates that the pay reduction to each staff member, caused by structural changes in the new award, will be roughly $1,500 per year. Some of the better staff will lose far more, as there is considerable penalty applied to those prepared to work (an award designed to discourage employment of someone who works hard: smells of Trade Union involvement!)
So far careful analysis of the business and the new award have exposed some efficiencies that can be made in the business. Already Two jobs have been identified as being uneconomic under the new award.
Mine Hosts forecast: After July 1st, he will be employing Four less staff.
The Hospitality Industry General Award is a step directly back to the 1970s.
A long outspoken campaigner for simplification of the industrial awards covering his industry, Mine Host alas can find nothing positive in the new award.
This ONE new award is more complex than the SIX it replaces. (that is, the Six, including subsets of awards, under which Mine Host's operation currently operates)
As this new award is far more employer unfriendly than those it replaces, it will be implemented in stages, beginning in July.
For were this award to be implemented in one swoop, there would be a risk of social, industrial, and possibly political upheaval on an unprecedented scale (for Australia)
The government is relying on the "boiled frog" phenomenon to get the award past small business, ramping it up over a few years.
Hmm......
Under the new award some aspects of the Wayside Tavern will no longer be economic, thus will be cut or eliminated, as will be jobs cut or eliminated.
Mine Host estimates that the pay reduction to each staff member, caused by structural changes in the new award, will be roughly $1,500 per year. Some of the better staff will lose far more, as there is considerable penalty applied to those prepared to work (an award designed to discourage employment of someone who works hard: smells of Trade Union involvement!)
So far careful analysis of the business and the new award have exposed some efficiencies that can be made in the business. Already Two jobs have been identified as being uneconomic under the new award.
Mine Hosts forecast: After July 1st, he will be employing Four less staff.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Marching Orders part 5
Mine Host was offered and accepted a deal, due to vendor intransigence this deal was not consumated.
However Mine Host had paid a deposit. Due to the hurried nature of the prospective deal, a law firm in one of Queensland's large coastal cities had been engaged for the purpose.
The firm was headed by one of the leading legal figures in the city.
The deposit on the deal amounted to $40,000 and was to be held in the firm's trust account.
When the deal went pear shaped (as Mine Host had presumed it would) Mine Host dropped around to the law firm & asked to see Mr. Respected Eagle.
The receptionist informed that Mr. Eagle was "out".
"That's okay, perhaps you can help me, I'm only here to pick up the deposit lodged in the trust account."
"Of course sir! We'll certainly have that ready for you when Mr. Eagle gets back in, I'll just find the entry for the deposit" She produced a large ledger and commenced perusing it.
Shortly she asked just when it was that Mine Host had said he had lodged the deposit with the firm, as she couldn't seem to find the entry.
Mine Host referred her to the (now collapsed) contract, in which was carefully listed the location and procedures associated with the deposit.
Puzzled, she perused the ledger again.
"I'm afraid there is no entry for your deposit sir"
"Let me see that!" Mine Host obtained the ledger and quickly ascertained that his contract deposit had not been placed into the firm's trust account.
The receptionist went quite pale.
She began rationalising.
Mine Host cut her short, said he would be back shortly, at which time Mr. Respected Eagle would be waiting with a cheque for the full amount of the returned deposit.
When Mine Host returned Mr. Respected Eagle was waiting with a cheque drawn for the full amount. No words were exchanged.
Mine Host walked the cheque accross to his bank, deposited it and had the branch confirm the cheque had cleared.
Mr. Respected Eagle continued to be a respected pillar of the legal profession in that city. Mine Host often wondered if there was ever a client who had retained the firm for a shorter time than he.
Over time, by the manner in which the firm Respected & Respected were referred to, Mine Host gathered that his experience of Mr. Respected Eagle was far from unique, and that the firm's respected position was due more to no mud having stuck, rather than impeccable ethics.
The firm Respected & Respected, now in the hands of the next generation, has nothing to be proud of in their recent past.
No bill was ever sent for the small amount of work Mr. Respected Eagle had performed on the flopped deal.
However Mine Host had paid a deposit. Due to the hurried nature of the prospective deal, a law firm in one of Queensland's large coastal cities had been engaged for the purpose.
The firm was headed by one of the leading legal figures in the city.
The deposit on the deal amounted to $40,000 and was to be held in the firm's trust account.
When the deal went pear shaped (as Mine Host had presumed it would) Mine Host dropped around to the law firm & asked to see Mr. Respected Eagle.
The receptionist informed that Mr. Eagle was "out".
"That's okay, perhaps you can help me, I'm only here to pick up the deposit lodged in the trust account."
"Of course sir! We'll certainly have that ready for you when Mr. Eagle gets back in, I'll just find the entry for the deposit" She produced a large ledger and commenced perusing it.
Shortly she asked just when it was that Mine Host had said he had lodged the deposit with the firm, as she couldn't seem to find the entry.
Mine Host referred her to the (now collapsed) contract, in which was carefully listed the location and procedures associated with the deposit.
Puzzled, she perused the ledger again.
"I'm afraid there is no entry for your deposit sir"
"Let me see that!" Mine Host obtained the ledger and quickly ascertained that his contract deposit had not been placed into the firm's trust account.
The receptionist went quite pale.
She began rationalising.
Mine Host cut her short, said he would be back shortly, at which time Mr. Respected Eagle would be waiting with a cheque for the full amount of the returned deposit.
When Mine Host returned Mr. Respected Eagle was waiting with a cheque drawn for the full amount. No words were exchanged.
Mine Host walked the cheque accross to his bank, deposited it and had the branch confirm the cheque had cleared.
Mr. Respected Eagle continued to be a respected pillar of the legal profession in that city. Mine Host often wondered if there was ever a client who had retained the firm for a shorter time than he.
Over time, by the manner in which the firm Respected & Respected were referred to, Mine Host gathered that his experience of Mr. Respected Eagle was far from unique, and that the firm's respected position was due more to no mud having stuck, rather than impeccable ethics.
The firm Respected & Respected, now in the hands of the next generation, has nothing to be proud of in their recent past.
No bill was ever sent for the small amount of work Mr. Respected Eagle had performed on the flopped deal.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Marching Orders part 4
The Pub Next Door had sold. The sale had been brokered by a leading Hotel Broker on behalf of an absentee mortgagee.
The price paid by the buyer was 10% less than Mine Host's cash offer, leaving a very sour taste in Mine Host's mouth. The broker was Cain & Abel Pty Ltd, one of the state's leading Hotel Brokers, with a supposedly impeccable reputation.
The vendor was a Melbourne loan shark, as mortgagee-in-possession. The loan shark had engaged a Melbourne real estate agent to handle the sale. The Melbourne real estate agent, lacking local or industry knowledge, had in turn engaged Cain & Abel hotel brokers, at the time supposedly one of Qld's leading hotel brokerage firms.
Mine Host, being next door in the Wayside Tavern, and on the hunt for another pub, should have been considered a "hot" prospective purchaser, and immediately been targeted by Cain & Abel.
Mr Cain (of Cain & Abel) revealed the upcoming sale to Mine Host only when Mine Host phoned on another matter. Thus alerted to the sale, Mine Host immediately requested an inspection.
It was to be another Two months before an inspection could be arranged. Even then it was by accident (receptionist was out & Mr. Cain had answered the phone himself)
Soured from Two months of unreturned phone call exasperation, Mine Host took this window of opportunity to arrange an immediate inspection.
That night Mr. Cain phoned and to say that unless an unconditional offer (above a certain amount) was made by midday the following day, Mine Host was "out". (This is not normal procedure for commerical transactions)
Three working hours to arrange an unconditional cash bid for the neighboring property?
Mine Host met this ultimatum. Mr. Cain then manufactured a disagreement over the size of the deposit. Mine Host's intended deposit was $100,000 Cain & Abel demanded $150,000 or Mine Host was "out".
The lawyer handling this matter for Mine Host was not the usual partner at Golf, Racing & Gladhanding, but an offsider. A migrant lady with a very strong accent. The amount of hotel sale work done by G.R. & G. meant their relationship to the Cain & Abel was a tad too close for Mine Host's comfort.
There were many meetings between Cain & Abel and G.R. & G's foreign-accented Associate, all on other matters, at which they occassionally took the opportunity to cover the minutia of Mine Host's attempted transaction. Mine Host was none too comfortable at the reverent tone adopted by the foreign-accented Associate when referring to the firm of Golf, Racing & Gladhanding.
Disagreement over the deposit amount would have been brief, lasting only a few hours. Cain & Abel needed only this briefest possible time to get a contract to the preferred buyer, thus making the sale a fait accompli.
In subsequent discussion with the very heavily foreign-accented Associate, Mine Host wryly observed that the firm of Cain & Abel had acquitted themselves with neither honour nor decency, that indisputably they had not acted in the best interests of their client.
The heavily foreign-accented Associate took umbrage at this slight on the (reverently referred to) firm of Cain & Abel and proceeded to give Mine Host a thorough dressing down.
The dressing down wasn't a direct one, but a "commerical transactions for dummies" lecture.
Taking quite a bit of offence - at recieving a lecture on commericial etiquette from one whose commercial experience was purely vicarious, and at the strident siding with the (indispuably unethical) opposition, by someone who is supposedly acting for him - Mine Host immediately dismissed the law firm of Golf, Racing & Gladhanding.
The price paid by the buyer was 10% less than Mine Host's cash offer, leaving a very sour taste in Mine Host's mouth. The broker was Cain & Abel Pty Ltd, one of the state's leading Hotel Brokers, with a supposedly impeccable reputation.
The vendor was a Melbourne loan shark, as mortgagee-in-possession. The loan shark had engaged a Melbourne real estate agent to handle the sale. The Melbourne real estate agent, lacking local or industry knowledge, had in turn engaged Cain & Abel hotel brokers, at the time supposedly one of Qld's leading hotel brokerage firms.
Mine Host, being next door in the Wayside Tavern, and on the hunt for another pub, should have been considered a "hot" prospective purchaser, and immediately been targeted by Cain & Abel.
Mr Cain (of Cain & Abel) revealed the upcoming sale to Mine Host only when Mine Host phoned on another matter. Thus alerted to the sale, Mine Host immediately requested an inspection.
It was to be another Two months before an inspection could be arranged. Even then it was by accident (receptionist was out & Mr. Cain had answered the phone himself)
Soured from Two months of unreturned phone call exasperation, Mine Host took this window of opportunity to arrange an immediate inspection.
That night Mr. Cain phoned and to say that unless an unconditional offer (above a certain amount) was made by midday the following day, Mine Host was "out". (This is not normal procedure for commerical transactions)
Three working hours to arrange an unconditional cash bid for the neighboring property?
Mine Host met this ultimatum. Mr. Cain then manufactured a disagreement over the size of the deposit. Mine Host's intended deposit was $100,000 Cain & Abel demanded $150,000 or Mine Host was "out".
The lawyer handling this matter for Mine Host was not the usual partner at Golf, Racing & Gladhanding, but an offsider. A migrant lady with a very strong accent. The amount of hotel sale work done by G.R. & G. meant their relationship to the Cain & Abel was a tad too close for Mine Host's comfort.
There were many meetings between Cain & Abel and G.R. & G's foreign-accented Associate, all on other matters, at which they occassionally took the opportunity to cover the minutia of Mine Host's attempted transaction. Mine Host was none too comfortable at the reverent tone adopted by the foreign-accented Associate when referring to the firm of Golf, Racing & Gladhanding.
Disagreement over the deposit amount would have been brief, lasting only a few hours. Cain & Abel needed only this briefest possible time to get a contract to the preferred buyer, thus making the sale a fait accompli.
In subsequent discussion with the very heavily foreign-accented Associate, Mine Host wryly observed that the firm of Cain & Abel had acquitted themselves with neither honour nor decency, that indisputably they had not acted in the best interests of their client.
The heavily foreign-accented Associate took umbrage at this slight on the (reverently referred to) firm of Cain & Abel and proceeded to give Mine Host a thorough dressing down.
The dressing down wasn't a direct one, but a "commerical transactions for dummies" lecture.
Taking quite a bit of offence - at recieving a lecture on commericial etiquette from one whose commercial experience was purely vicarious, and at the strident siding with the (indispuably unethical) opposition, by someone who is supposedly acting for him - Mine Host immediately dismissed the law firm of Golf, Racing & Gladhanding.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Marching Orders part 3
Mine Host had received a ticket. It arrived in the mail.
Penalty: Several Hundred Dollars.
Offence: Refusing an inspection of the Premises.
Regulatory Authority writing the ticket: Fire Brigade (in a city hundreds of miles away).
Being as the Fire Brigade had not, via any of the following methods, indicated they wished to inspect the Wayside Tavern:
Fax,
Telephone Call,
Letter, posted,
Letter, couriered,
Messenger Boy,
Attending the Premises in person,
Carrier Pigeon,
Smoke Signal,
(in this day & age, to this list one would add "email"),
Any other method one can think of,
Mine Host made the assumption that being as the ticket was on the unreasonable side of unjust, it would be easily contested.
Mine Host met with his solicitor-of-the-moment and laid the facts before him.
Mine Host instructed his lawyer (the firm's senior partner) that he considered the ticket to be unjust, unreasonable, vexatious, lowdown, cheating, disgusting, insulting, a mongrel act, etc etc etc, and that he wished to challenge it in court.
The law firm in question did quite a lot of this sort of work, though mostly with tickets written by the police.
The legal advice provided on the spot to Mine Host was to make no response, and the matter would proceed to court.
On the spot Mine Host raised the question that this advice was in diametric contrast to the "How to Respond" instructions on the back of the ticket.
The solicitor (experienced in these matters) repeated his advice.
Mine Host complied with the advice. By failing meet the deadline for response to the ticket the matter became an automatic judgement against Mine Host, was not able to be defended and Mine Host was a de facto defaulter and had to pay the fine plus an extra penalty.
Consequently Mine Host never again contacted that law firm, who at least had the good grace to never send a bill, for that or any other work. The senior partner in a remarkable display of self-preservation - or perhaps in a display of shame uncharasteric for his profession - has ever since managed to keep out of Mine Host's sight.
Since that date relations between Mine Host and the Queensland Fire Brigade have been of a most frigid nature.
Penalty: Several Hundred Dollars.
Offence: Refusing an inspection of the Premises.
Regulatory Authority writing the ticket: Fire Brigade (in a city hundreds of miles away).
Being as the Fire Brigade had not, via any of the following methods, indicated they wished to inspect the Wayside Tavern:
Fax,
Telephone Call,
Letter, posted,
Letter, couriered,
Messenger Boy,
Attending the Premises in person,
Carrier Pigeon,
Smoke Signal,
(in this day & age, to this list one would add "email"),
Any other method one can think of,
Mine Host made the assumption that being as the ticket was on the unreasonable side of unjust, it would be easily contested.
Mine Host met with his solicitor-of-the-moment and laid the facts before him.
Mine Host instructed his lawyer (the firm's senior partner) that he considered the ticket to be unjust, unreasonable, vexatious, lowdown, cheating, disgusting, insulting, a mongrel act, etc etc etc, and that he wished to challenge it in court.
The law firm in question did quite a lot of this sort of work, though mostly with tickets written by the police.
The legal advice provided on the spot to Mine Host was to make no response, and the matter would proceed to court.
On the spot Mine Host raised the question that this advice was in diametric contrast to the "How to Respond" instructions on the back of the ticket.
The solicitor (experienced in these matters) repeated his advice.
Mine Host complied with the advice. By failing meet the deadline for response to the ticket the matter became an automatic judgement against Mine Host, was not able to be defended and Mine Host was a de facto defaulter and had to pay the fine plus an extra penalty.
Consequently Mine Host never again contacted that law firm, who at least had the good grace to never send a bill, for that or any other work. The senior partner in a remarkable display of self-preservation - or perhaps in a display of shame uncharasteric for his profession - has ever since managed to keep out of Mine Host's sight.
Since that date relations between Mine Host and the Queensland Fire Brigade have been of a most frigid nature.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Marching Orders part 2
Mine Host requested an advice from a lawyer. He contacted his (then) current law firm and was directed to a smart young lawyer specialising in the field in question.
The requested advice was: "What are the implications and downside to winding up "Shelf Company X"?
Shelf Company X was a small company that had been used by Mine Host in the past. It had no assets, had not traded for several years, yet had suddenly become the target of a massive claim by the Tax Office, for a figure well into Six digits. (How Shelf Company X got into this predicament will be covered in another post)
At the time Mine Host was thousands of miles away in a new career, working more hours than a human should be awake, and did not want to engage in litigation against the ATO.
Especially as:
If he won: He got nothing except a massive legal bill.
If he lost: He had to pay the massive Six figure sum and he got a massive legal bill.
The smart young lawyer sent Mine Host a very long written advice. He covered many topics, but made no mention of the implications of winding up the company.
Mine Host phoned & wrote to the lawyer, restating the initial request.
The Smart Young Lawyer sent Mine Host another long written advice, covering many topics, but again made no mention of the implications of winding up the company.
Mine Host contacted the Lawyer again, ensured the lawyer understood his simple request and once again the Smart Young Lawyer sent a long written advice.... (and so on and so forth).
This went on for several exchanges. Mine Host grew rapidly more impatient. Time was wasting.
Eventually in exasperation Mine Host contacted the overseeing partner at the law firm and in-a-manner-that-could-not-be-mistaken instructed the partner that he was-sick-to-death-of-the-Smart-Young-Lawyer giving advice-on-everything-under-the-sun-except what he had been asked.
Shortly thereafter Mine Host received the advice he requested.
The advice: (abridged) "If the company is dissolved nothing will happen. The sole creditor is the ATO, and they won't be able to grab anything. Your troubles will be over"
The time take to produce the Two Paragraph Advice: One Month
The bill: $20,000.00 (due to the large amount of written advice provided)
Mine Host severed relations with that law firm just as soon as Shelf Company X was dissolved.
The requested advice was: "What are the implications and downside to winding up "Shelf Company X"?
Shelf Company X was a small company that had been used by Mine Host in the past. It had no assets, had not traded for several years, yet had suddenly become the target of a massive claim by the Tax Office, for a figure well into Six digits. (How Shelf Company X got into this predicament will be covered in another post)
At the time Mine Host was thousands of miles away in a new career, working more hours than a human should be awake, and did not want to engage in litigation against the ATO.
Especially as:
If he won: He got nothing except a massive legal bill.
If he lost: He had to pay the massive Six figure sum and he got a massive legal bill.
The smart young lawyer sent Mine Host a very long written advice. He covered many topics, but made no mention of the implications of winding up the company.
Mine Host phoned & wrote to the lawyer, restating the initial request.
The Smart Young Lawyer sent Mine Host another long written advice, covering many topics, but again made no mention of the implications of winding up the company.
Mine Host contacted the Lawyer again, ensured the lawyer understood his simple request and once again the Smart Young Lawyer sent a long written advice.... (and so on and so forth).
This went on for several exchanges. Mine Host grew rapidly more impatient. Time was wasting.
Eventually in exasperation Mine Host contacted the overseeing partner at the law firm and in-a-manner-that-could-not-be-mistaken instructed the partner that he was-sick-to-death-of-the-Smart-Young-Lawyer giving advice-on-everything-under-the-sun-except what he had been asked.
Shortly thereafter Mine Host received the advice he requested.
The advice: (abridged) "If the company is dissolved nothing will happen. The sole creditor is the ATO, and they won't be able to grab anything. Your troubles will be over"
The time take to produce the Two Paragraph Advice: One Month
The bill: $20,000.00 (due to the large amount of written advice provided)
Mine Host severed relations with that law firm just as soon as Shelf Company X was dissolved.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Marching Orders part #1
A couple of months ago Legal Eagle and Mine Host discussed briefly the matter of clients not feeling their lawyer is entirely on their side.
The matter of dismissing one's lawyer cropped up. Mine Host has form in this area.
It was suggested that Mine Host may have been blaming the lawyer for Mine Host's failure to not disclose all details of his case. Hmmm.... read the next few posts & see if the lawyer or the client who was out of order.
One of the messier partings was from a Brisbane law firm with a double-barrelled name, quartered in a high rise office tower.... Messy because it took a while.
This firm had been Mine Host's "law firm", giving advice & acting for him in various matters, one such matter being an asset purchase.
This asset came with a few clapped out but registered, vehicles. It was the lawyer's duty to ensure the transfer of Motor Vehicle Registrations.
The asset transferred smoothly, as did the ancillaries, including motor vehicles.
However registrations of these motor vehicles did not transfer to Mine Host. The (annual) registrations subsequently expired without renewal notices having arrived.
Mine Host telephoned to the Department of Transport & enquired as to when he could expect the renewal notices (and new registration sticker to affix to the window).
The Department, upon learning the registration number (on the "Number Plate" affixed to the front and rear of the vehicle) refused to continue discussions, stating the motor vehicles were registered to another party, and the Dept. was not at liberty to discuss the registrations with an "outside party".
Furnishing the Department of Transport with proof of ownership made no difference. The Dept. could discuss the registrations only with the holder of those registrations.
Mine Host contacted the lawer at the firm with the double-barrelled name, explained what had happened & asked for him to sort the matter out.
Nothing changed.
Some time later Mine Host contacted this lawyer to find out why he was not getting satisfaction, and asked to see a copy of the transfer form that had been lodged with the Department of Transport.
Nothing was forthcoming, and whenever Mine Host phoned, the lawyer was not available.
Emails to the lawyer likewise went unanswered.
Two Years later Mine Host gave up emailing the lawyer.
Eventually a sympathetic clerk at the Motor Vehicle Registry informed Mine Host that at time of transfer a submission had been recieved from the seller, but not from the buyer (that would be Mine Host).
Not revealing who held the registrations, the clerk asked Mine Host if he knew a certain person. Mine Host did, the person was a former employee of the vendor. There was no fathomable explanation for why this person held the registrations.
Mine Host made contact with this fellow, who was by now most confused, being stuck with vehicle registrations he knew nothing about.
The renewals had not been delivered in a timely fashion, and the registrations were now in default.
Of course a simple transfer from the current holder to Mine Host, now possible, would have resolved the matter, however the matter should never have arisen in the first place, and the other fellow was in all the trouble that comes with "defaulting" on a government debt.
Mine Host, by now well & truly tired of a lawyer who did not return phone calls or emails, made a most robust phone call to the big name law firm, explaining in a very matter of fact voice the situation he was in, with particular emphasis on the fact that Two Years had now passed, and the situation that an innocent party was in, possibly all due to inaction by the lawyer at the time of transfer.
Another partner took the call and discussed the matter with Mine Host, undertaking to find out what had happened. Some time later this other partner provided Mine Host with the original of the motor vehicle registration transfer form. It clearly showed that the registrations should have been transferred to Mine Host...... It had never been lodged.
Mine Host expressed to this other partner his disappointment with the law firm.
The law firm sent a bill for $660 for forwarding the (unlodged) transfer form.
The Department's debt collection lawyer had been sooled onto the bunny who had been lumbered with the regos. This lawyer, now armed with the original of the transfer form, instructed the Queensland Government to transfer the registrations to Mine Host, expunge the other fellow from the registration records, to expunge all mention of any "default", to cease all action against the other fellow, and to reverse any action that had been taken. Furthermore the department was to immediately notify the hapless fellow of this.
What had happened at time of transfer?
Someone, with only one of two matching forms, had read the back of the vendor's transfer form, and taken his "agent or servant" to be the person to whom the registrations were to be transferred.
Mine Host no longer uses that hyphenated-named law firm.
The matter of dismissing one's lawyer cropped up. Mine Host has form in this area.
It was suggested that Mine Host may have been blaming the lawyer for Mine Host's failure to not disclose all details of his case. Hmmm.... read the next few posts & see if the lawyer or the client who was out of order.
One of the messier partings was from a Brisbane law firm with a double-barrelled name, quartered in a high rise office tower.... Messy because it took a while.
This firm had been Mine Host's "law firm", giving advice & acting for him in various matters, one such matter being an asset purchase.
This asset came with a few clapped out but registered, vehicles. It was the lawyer's duty to ensure the transfer of Motor Vehicle Registrations.
The asset transferred smoothly, as did the ancillaries, including motor vehicles.
However registrations of these motor vehicles did not transfer to Mine Host. The (annual) registrations subsequently expired without renewal notices having arrived.
Mine Host telephoned to the Department of Transport & enquired as to when he could expect the renewal notices (and new registration sticker to affix to the window).
The Department, upon learning the registration number (on the "Number Plate" affixed to the front and rear of the vehicle) refused to continue discussions, stating the motor vehicles were registered to another party, and the Dept. was not at liberty to discuss the registrations with an "outside party".
Furnishing the Department of Transport with proof of ownership made no difference. The Dept. could discuss the registrations only with the holder of those registrations.
Mine Host contacted the lawer at the firm with the double-barrelled name, explained what had happened & asked for him to sort the matter out.
Nothing changed.
Some time later Mine Host contacted this lawyer to find out why he was not getting satisfaction, and asked to see a copy of the transfer form that had been lodged with the Department of Transport.
Nothing was forthcoming, and whenever Mine Host phoned, the lawyer was not available.
Emails to the lawyer likewise went unanswered.
Two Years later Mine Host gave up emailing the lawyer.
Eventually a sympathetic clerk at the Motor Vehicle Registry informed Mine Host that at time of transfer a submission had been recieved from the seller, but not from the buyer (that would be Mine Host).
Not revealing who held the registrations, the clerk asked Mine Host if he knew a certain person. Mine Host did, the person was a former employee of the vendor. There was no fathomable explanation for why this person held the registrations.
Mine Host made contact with this fellow, who was by now most confused, being stuck with vehicle registrations he knew nothing about.
The renewals had not been delivered in a timely fashion, and the registrations were now in default.
Of course a simple transfer from the current holder to Mine Host, now possible, would have resolved the matter, however the matter should never have arisen in the first place, and the other fellow was in all the trouble that comes with "defaulting" on a government debt.
Mine Host, by now well & truly tired of a lawyer who did not return phone calls or emails, made a most robust phone call to the big name law firm, explaining in a very matter of fact voice the situation he was in, with particular emphasis on the fact that Two Years had now passed, and the situation that an innocent party was in, possibly all due to inaction by the lawyer at the time of transfer.
Another partner took the call and discussed the matter with Mine Host, undertaking to find out what had happened. Some time later this other partner provided Mine Host with the original of the motor vehicle registration transfer form. It clearly showed that the registrations should have been transferred to Mine Host...... It had never been lodged.
Mine Host expressed to this other partner his disappointment with the law firm.
The law firm sent a bill for $660 for forwarding the (unlodged) transfer form.
The Department's debt collection lawyer had been sooled onto the bunny who had been lumbered with the regos. This lawyer, now armed with the original of the transfer form, instructed the Queensland Government to transfer the registrations to Mine Host, expunge the other fellow from the registration records, to expunge all mention of any "default", to cease all action against the other fellow, and to reverse any action that had been taken. Furthermore the department was to immediately notify the hapless fellow of this.
What had happened at time of transfer?
Someone, with only one of two matching forms, had read the back of the vendor's transfer form, and taken his "agent or servant" to be the person to whom the registrations were to be transferred.
Mine Host no longer uses that hyphenated-named law firm.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Beyond words
Uncle & his best friend joined up at the start of the war. They trained together & were posted to the same infantry unit in Malaya. When Japan entered the war the fighting went badly and retreat was ordered.
Uncle was shot in the legs in one of the first clashes with the Japanese army. He was unable to walk, and such was the urgent pace of the retreat that he was among those left behind by their own unit.
Uncle & other men unable to walk were laid in the shade in a sheltered position, their mates propped canvas shades over them, Uncle & his mate shook hands and parted.
One can only imagine what were the thoughts & the mood of the men who retreated south leaving their mates to the Japanese. In later years the only comment on the matter from Uncle's mate was gruff & along the lines of: Had they known what the Japanese treatment of prisoners was to be, they would never have abandoned them.
The wounded men lay abandoned, unable to move, pondering their fate. Hours later they heard the approach of the Japanese army. For most of a day they could hear, but not see, the Japanese carefully making a systematic approach to what would have seemed to be an Australian position.
When Japanese scouts ascertained there was no military threat, the Japanese came in full force. It was made plain to the wounded men that they must march, or be beaten.
None could walk, so Japanese soldiers got stuck into them with rifle butts. It was made plain to the Japanese officer commanding that none of the Australians could walk. The Japanese officer replied that the Australians would march, or the beating would continue.
Most of the skin on the front of Uncle's face had been lifted in a 3-cornered gash, & hung down over his face. His nose, brow ridges and teeth & jaw were smashed, giving him the appearance of being dead. The Australians were pushed together by the Japanese, Uncle was not grouped with the others, presumably he was believed dead.
The Japanese became tired of wielding rifle butts. A tripod mounted machine gun was positioned facing the Australians, and fired continuously into the collection of wounded & immobile Australian soldiers. Then Japanese soldiers advanced forward and bayonetted any who had survived the machine-gunning. The men who were still alive lay still & feigned death, even as they were bayonetted.
After the machine-gunning and bayonetting many were still alive. Uncle & other survivors lay still. The Japanese then poured petrol onto the dead & living Australians and ignited it.
It was dark by this time, & uncle was able to make it into the nearby long grass & into the forest. He was unable to walk, unable to see, & unable to eat. The first 30 days of wriggling on his stomach through the jungle were the hardest.
When recaptured several weeks later, he was wasted enough to not be expected to live, his injuries were in a very serious state.
He recovered in Changi jail, and spent most of the war on the Burma Railway.
At war's end he returned to his home. His eyes had a look in them that caused all & sundry to pause & reflect.
Uncle rarely spoke of the war, always wore long sleeves & long trousers, and became practised at training his hair so that though it appeared to be in an untidy state from him performing manual labour, was actually carefully trained to cover the maximum amount of scarring.
Uncle was one of those who never purchased a Japanese car, and never worked for an employer who dealt, even peripherally, with a Japanese company.
On the difficulty of years later and after a wartime of events, identifying which Japanese officer or soldier committed which atrocity, and the unreliability of identifying the actual perpetrator, he stated that "Hanging any Japanese officer is a good start...", his eyes making it plain how extensively he thought war crimes trials should proceed....
Uncle would have no part of any suggestion of a national reconciliation with Japan, and on occassion walked out of a job without another word rather than be in the presence of one who believed that Japan's wartime record should be treated with tact.
He never exhibited bitterness toward people who seriously urged him that Japan should be treated with tact. In fact he never exhibited anything, simply never responded to any further contact from them, ever.
Uncle went to his grave maintaining that the Japanese were a very intelligent and very dangerous species of monkey that was able to interbreed with humans. This was not an obtuse expression of bitterness, it was his acknowledgement that huge numbers of individual Japanese had over many years, performed acts which no human could have committed.
Uncle was shot in the legs in one of the first clashes with the Japanese army. He was unable to walk, and such was the urgent pace of the retreat that he was among those left behind by their own unit.
Uncle & other men unable to walk were laid in the shade in a sheltered position, their mates propped canvas shades over them, Uncle & his mate shook hands and parted.
One can only imagine what were the thoughts & the mood of the men who retreated south leaving their mates to the Japanese. In later years the only comment on the matter from Uncle's mate was gruff & along the lines of: Had they known what the Japanese treatment of prisoners was to be, they would never have abandoned them.
The wounded men lay abandoned, unable to move, pondering their fate. Hours later they heard the approach of the Japanese army. For most of a day they could hear, but not see, the Japanese carefully making a systematic approach to what would have seemed to be an Australian position.
When Japanese scouts ascertained there was no military threat, the Japanese came in full force. It was made plain to the wounded men that they must march, or be beaten.
None could walk, so Japanese soldiers got stuck into them with rifle butts. It was made plain to the Japanese officer commanding that none of the Australians could walk. The Japanese officer replied that the Australians would march, or the beating would continue.
Most of the skin on the front of Uncle's face had been lifted in a 3-cornered gash, & hung down over his face. His nose, brow ridges and teeth & jaw were smashed, giving him the appearance of being dead. The Australians were pushed together by the Japanese, Uncle was not grouped with the others, presumably he was believed dead.
The Japanese became tired of wielding rifle butts. A tripod mounted machine gun was positioned facing the Australians, and fired continuously into the collection of wounded & immobile Australian soldiers. Then Japanese soldiers advanced forward and bayonetted any who had survived the machine-gunning. The men who were still alive lay still & feigned death, even as they were bayonetted.
After the machine-gunning and bayonetting many were still alive. Uncle & other survivors lay still. The Japanese then poured petrol onto the dead & living Australians and ignited it.
It was dark by this time, & uncle was able to make it into the nearby long grass & into the forest. He was unable to walk, unable to see, & unable to eat. The first 30 days of wriggling on his stomach through the jungle were the hardest.
When recaptured several weeks later, he was wasted enough to not be expected to live, his injuries were in a very serious state.
He recovered in Changi jail, and spent most of the war on the Burma Railway.
At war's end he returned to his home. His eyes had a look in them that caused all & sundry to pause & reflect.
Uncle rarely spoke of the war, always wore long sleeves & long trousers, and became practised at training his hair so that though it appeared to be in an untidy state from him performing manual labour, was actually carefully trained to cover the maximum amount of scarring.
Uncle was one of those who never purchased a Japanese car, and never worked for an employer who dealt, even peripherally, with a Japanese company.
On the difficulty of years later and after a wartime of events, identifying which Japanese officer or soldier committed which atrocity, and the unreliability of identifying the actual perpetrator, he stated that "Hanging any Japanese officer is a good start...", his eyes making it plain how extensively he thought war crimes trials should proceed....
Uncle would have no part of any suggestion of a national reconciliation with Japan, and on occassion walked out of a job without another word rather than be in the presence of one who believed that Japan's wartime record should be treated with tact.
He never exhibited bitterness toward people who seriously urged him that Japan should be treated with tact. In fact he never exhibited anything, simply never responded to any further contact from them, ever.
Uncle went to his grave maintaining that the Japanese were a very intelligent and very dangerous species of monkey that was able to interbreed with humans. This was not an obtuse expression of bitterness, it was his acknowledgement that huge numbers of individual Japanese had over many years, performed acts which no human could have committed.
Friday, October 16, 2009
The expert Touch
It may not be widely known, but in the years just after the war quite a number of Dutch national servicemen were demobbed in Australia. Several of these men worked on the same sawmill as Mine Host's grandfather. This was in the days when immigrants were required to work a minimum of 2 years in the bush, at a labouring job dictated by the government.
Mine Host's Aunts were keen pianists, playing every day for hours.
These ladies each have now retired from a lifelong career as music teachers, and still play daily, now with more than 70 years on keyboard. A record of which they are justifiably very proud.
As many musicians are, they were fanatic as teenagers, and played for hours each day. The sawmill workers were able to hear the piano notes coming from the cottage.
One day one of the Dutchmen ventured to the door of the cottage, and asked the lady of the house, in very broken English, that he had been listening each day to the playing, and how nice it was, and would the girls mind if he "had a go himself"?
Graciousness dictated that he be invited in, for a cup of tea & then he sat down at the piano and demonstrated skill on the piano that silenced the household. His playing brought goosebumps to the backs of the girls necks.
Prior to being conscripted, he had in Europe been a concert pianist. He was most grateful for the opportunity to play.
Why he had chosen demobbing in Australia, followed by years of unaccustomed rough labour on a bush sawmill, was an unexplained mystery. He was in the company of his countrymen (the sawmill was mostly Dutch) but was in possession of a skill that would have better served him in Europe.
His playing was such that to this day the Aunts are in awe of the playing that afternoon in the sawmill cottage.
Mine Host's Aunts were keen pianists, playing every day for hours.
These ladies each have now retired from a lifelong career as music teachers, and still play daily, now with more than 70 years on keyboard. A record of which they are justifiably very proud.
As many musicians are, they were fanatic as teenagers, and played for hours each day. The sawmill workers were able to hear the piano notes coming from the cottage.
One day one of the Dutchmen ventured to the door of the cottage, and asked the lady of the house, in very broken English, that he had been listening each day to the playing, and how nice it was, and would the girls mind if he "had a go himself"?
Graciousness dictated that he be invited in, for a cup of tea & then he sat down at the piano and demonstrated skill on the piano that silenced the household. His playing brought goosebumps to the backs of the girls necks.
Prior to being conscripted, he had in Europe been a concert pianist. He was most grateful for the opportunity to play.
Why he had chosen demobbing in Australia, followed by years of unaccustomed rough labour on a bush sawmill, was an unexplained mystery. He was in the company of his countrymen (the sawmill was mostly Dutch) but was in possession of a skill that would have better served him in Europe.
His playing was such that to this day the Aunts are in awe of the playing that afternoon in the sawmill cottage.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Pull on the Wheel and Yell "Whoa"
Joining up in the first flush of volunteers in 1939, Uncle found himself in the Lighthorse. An accomplished horseman, bushman, self-reliant, physically both adept and experienced, he fitted in very well.
.....then the Lighthorse was mechanised.
Like many who are highly capable with anything that had hair or hide, snorted and was bigger than you, Uncle was hopeless with machinery of any sort (rifles excepted) and incapable of adapting.
As handy as Uncle had been when mounted on a horse, as a driver he was reciprocally as disastrous.
On his enlistment form Uncle had stated that he was a sleeper-cutter. This was a reserved occupation.
The Army now "discovered" that Uncle was in a reserved occupation, and promptly discharged him.
He spent the war as he had spent the 1930's: In the bush, cutting railway sleepers by hand.
For the next 65 years he maintained immaculately his issued Lighthorse accoutrements and uniform. When recently he passed on, the Emu feather in the slouch hat was the original.
.....then the Lighthorse was mechanised.
Like many who are highly capable with anything that had hair or hide, snorted and was bigger than you, Uncle was hopeless with machinery of any sort (rifles excepted) and incapable of adapting.
As handy as Uncle had been when mounted on a horse, as a driver he was reciprocally as disastrous.
On his enlistment form Uncle had stated that he was a sleeper-cutter. This was a reserved occupation.
The Army now "discovered" that Uncle was in a reserved occupation, and promptly discharged him.
He spent the war as he had spent the 1930's: In the bush, cutting railway sleepers by hand.
For the next 65 years he maintained immaculately his issued Lighthorse accoutrements and uniform. When recently he passed on, the Emu feather in the slouch hat was the original.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
All The Way
Like most people Mine Host is uncomfortable when confronted with a victim of severe burns. Even years after their recovery, sighting (or even thinking of) the victim brings to life the torment of what severe burns must feel like.
All of us have experienced minor burns (from a stove etc) and the imagination horrifically multiplies this experience.
A cousin, though functioning as a member of society, spent most of his life bearing the all-too-obvious scarring of severe 3rd degree burns to much of his body (the visible parts anyway) including his face and hands.
Cousin had a brief career in the RAAF. A radio operator in a Wellington bomber crew, what turned out to be his last mission (and final task in the RAAF) came very early in the war.
Hit badly after a bombing mission to mainland Europe, his Wellington ditched. Upon the skipper's advice that ditching was unavoidable, Cousin commenced transmitting a distress signal, advising their imminent fate and estimated position.
After the crash into the sea, he remained at his station, transmitting continuously, with no way of knowing if his signals had been heard.
He kept transmitting as the bomber burned around him, leaving it only when fire destroyed the radio equipment.
The crew was rescued, unharmed (radio operator excepted).
It is not known if his transmitting until the final moment helped their rescue. Had he got out of the crashed bomber with the rest of the crew, he would not have been burnt.
He received several years of rehabilitation, Three service medals, and a discharge into civilian life.
Morse code, his most marketable skill, was not available to him, his fingers no longer able to tap it out.
Even though he lived an ordinary and decent life, as most of us do, his presence at family gatherings always prompted everybody to (at some stage) privately reflect with their own thoughts.
The Mongoloid visage of one who has had their face burnt off is possibly the most unsettling of all burns injuries (for those of us who have not been burned)
All of us have experienced minor burns (from a stove etc) and the imagination horrifically multiplies this experience.
A cousin, though functioning as a member of society, spent most of his life bearing the all-too-obvious scarring of severe 3rd degree burns to much of his body (the visible parts anyway) including his face and hands.
Cousin had a brief career in the RAAF. A radio operator in a Wellington bomber crew, what turned out to be his last mission (and final task in the RAAF) came very early in the war.
Hit badly after a bombing mission to mainland Europe, his Wellington ditched. Upon the skipper's advice that ditching was unavoidable, Cousin commenced transmitting a distress signal, advising their imminent fate and estimated position.
After the crash into the sea, he remained at his station, transmitting continuously, with no way of knowing if his signals had been heard.
He kept transmitting as the bomber burned around him, leaving it only when fire destroyed the radio equipment.
The crew was rescued, unharmed (radio operator excepted).
It is not known if his transmitting until the final moment helped their rescue. Had he got out of the crashed bomber with the rest of the crew, he would not have been burnt.
He received several years of rehabilitation, Three service medals, and a discharge into civilian life.
Morse code, his most marketable skill, was not available to him, his fingers no longer able to tap it out.
Even though he lived an ordinary and decent life, as most of us do, his presence at family gatherings always prompted everybody to (at some stage) privately reflect with their own thoughts.
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