Saturday, January 28, 2006

Just When I Think I Have Seen It All (part 2 already)

An absolutely cute story :-) :-) :-)

Scene: Busy bottleshop in shopping centre.
Cast: Harried Staff x 1
Peripheral Customers x several
Korean Field Workers x 4
Props: Coldroom full of beer & stuff at rear of bottleshop

Action: Peripheral customer (elderly lady) asks Harried Staff (at cash register) for an item.

Harried Staff replies "You can find that inside the coldroom Dearie"

Peripheral Customer: "But I can't get into the coldroom, it is full"

Harried Staff: (Thinking) Gosh, it will be easier to go over there & get it for her than to explain, besides, wonder what can possibly be blocking the coldroom, I was in there only a half hour ago!

(typical view inside a coldroom)

Inside the beer coldroom:
Several 30-packs of beer cans pulled out & arranged in a circle (like Stonehenge). Each of these "stools" was occupied by a Korean Field Hand, in the middle, perched on another 30-pack, are cakes and opened packets of biscuits, a thermos of tea, cups, sugar, etc.

Harried Staff: (Unable to believe her eyes) "Can I help you to get anything?"

Korean Field Hand: (The one with the most English, while the others smile and nod) "No thank you, not need anything"

Harried Staff: (Attempting to clarify a previously unconceptualised event) "Do you wish to buy anything?"

Korean Field Hand: "Oh no thank you, we have tea, biscuit, not need to buy anything"

Friday, January 20, 2006

Just When I Think I Have Seen It All (probably part 1 of MANY)

In this age of modern communications technology, a not uncommon occurrence is Mine Host "springing" one of the barmaids "texting" instead of working.

Usual outcome: A half hour (or on occassion an hour) being wiped from her timesheet by mutual agreement. Alternative to "mutual agreement" = the SACK.

One of the barmaids particularly resisted Mine Host having a quick glance at what was keeping her from filling the ever increasing number of empty glasses.

It transpired that she was getting men (barflies) to use their camera phone to photograph their genitals (whilst sitting at the bar) and send the photo to her mobile phone.


Thursday, January 12, 2006


Malaysian blogger Minishorts (must be a story to that name) has posted proudly announcing she does not eat beef. Curiously, she then goes on, as if it is perfectly natural to do so, to state that she of course eats (pause to choke)... pork & chicken!

One is decent & clean and will make you big and strong {beef}, the other is disgusting & tastes horrible and you will be pale and weedy, like some sort of undernourished vegetarian {pork & chicken}. Beef, mostly grassfed on open range or pasture, is a far healthier product than the mostly factory-farmed pork & chicken.

Just a thought for you, Minishorts.

Look at these bullicks, (phonetic spelling today). Grassfed and at least 6 years old, they look like they would be perfect eating, and they were!