Thursday, July 19, 2007

Ambidextrous:Equally dopey with either hand

Observing the kitchenhand, male early 20's, was a most excruciating experience for Mine Host.

The lad, though married with a child, and thus presumably somewhat more motivated toward some energy at work, still moved too slow to justify his hourly rate. Potatos were taking one minute each to be peeled.

Grabbing a potato peeler, Mine Host barked "Watch this!" and whit whit whit peeled a spud fast enough for each peeling to be still airborne as the next was coming off.

"That's how you must do it" stated Mine Host, putting the peeler down.

"I can't do that" came from the kitchenhand. Mine Host paused on his way out of the kitchen...

"You did that right handed, I'm left handed, so I can't do it that fast"

Silently Mine Host grabbed the peeler, and with his left hand peeled another potato, every bit as fast as he had the previous one.

Mental images rotated through Mine Hosts' head of how the kitchenhand would have fared with any of Mine Hosts' old bosses, all of whom would (and sometimes did) flatten a junior staff for flippancy less than that.

The kitchenhand could feel that the air was too tense for a second dose of flippancy, however as Mine Host departed the kitchen after the second (and indisputable) demonstration he distincly heard the word "Nazi" muttered under the kitchenhand's breath.

There was a pause as Mine Host considered returning and pushing the issue. Then he considered that the prick was too stupid to bother clouting, and in the short time until he could find a replacement at least the potatos would be peeled at a more acceptable speed.

1 comment:

Bwca said...

when you finally sell a business,
the relief of not having to deal with staff is fabulous.

I hired a uni student once:
she came to work at a food counter and spread out all the invitations to her 21st!! she was gonna write them between serving food and drink to customers.

I was stunned speechless at the stupidity of it.

she is practising accountancy somewhere now no doubt of it.