Thursday, December 01, 2011

Where do you Get Yours?

A sodomy joke to an audience of ex-cons wouldn't have produced a more uncomfortable silence....

All I did was ask for a cup of tea.

Five of us were crammed into the waiting room of the Barrister's chambers.
One of the two receptionists had enquired if anybody would like tea/coffee.
Only one taker, me.

Not because I was the client, & a cup of tea would (microscopically) help mitigate the several thousand dollars the meeting was about to cost. Just that I thought in the circumstances the more caffiene in me the better, and it would keep my hands occupied.

To the inevitable supplementary question: "How would you like it?"
I had answered, in time honoured fashion:

"Same way as my girls please, black & sweet"

.....It seemed nobody present had heard it put this way before.

The girl going for the tea was paused in mid-step.

My solicitor, an athletic fresh graduate from a legal family, supposedly a macho "blokey" type, blew his cover by saying "It's okay, he's from the country"

(Implication: "Don't blame me for this, my client is a backward hick and doesn't know any better)

Never one to take condescension very well, & mindful of the maze of coffee carts etc we had to negotiate to get into the building, I said out loud to nobody in particular:
"As opposed to city boys, who go down to the street & pay for it"

Now there was a silence in the room.

One of the older expert witnesses, clearly a chap who'd had some field experience in his life, suppressed a smile.
The rest of them were as if a broomstick has been used on them in place of a rectal thermometer.

Victory was mine! (And this in a room full of people whose profession was thinking on their feet in a courtroom)


thefrollickingmole said...

I have mine black and sour... Definately no shearing shed or deckie backgrounds there.

richard mcenroe said...

Okay, I'm ordering cocoa...

Dave from Tacoma said...

I like my women like I like my wine:

Cheap and fortified with alcohol.

Mine Host said...

... and, Dave, best enjoyed when shared between four friends over dinner.

Mine Host said...

Mole: I've wondered ever since what reaction there'd have been had I said:
...."same as I prefer my boys, white & weak"

missred said...

same as i prefer my men - white and hot!

RebeccaH said...

Mine Host would have gotten along swell with my dad and uncles. Heh heh. (Hint: they were Texans)

Anonymous said...

Sweet, light...Hmm...guess they never thought us country folk don't give a rip about whatever it is city folk think is sophisticated, eh?

I like the joke, even at my age...and gender. No shearing shed experience, though, sorry.

bruce said...

It's in The Bible, Solomon Song of Songs,

(kisses sweeter than wine)

"I am black but comely, O daughters of Jerusalem! Like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon."

Ellie @ Kitchen Wench said...

Am I the only other person outside those present in the room that day who hasn't heard of this before? (O_O)

kae said...

At least I don't pay for it...


Touche, SatP!

Steve at the Pub said...

Perhaps Miss Ellie, perhaps you are!