Sunday, December 29, 2013

Office Work

Scene:  The Wayside Tavern office.
Time:   2:00 a.m.
Cast:  Mine Host,
          One female staff.
Costumes:  Mine Host in usual office wear (polo shirt and elastic shorts)
                   Female staffer in nightie (not a slip-on, but a button-up)

Action: Female staff enters the office, pointedly closes the door, managing to undo a button or two in the process.  Proceeds to the desk, where Mine Host is seated and rather than sit opposite, sits to one side, with no furniture or other objects between her and Mine Host.

It is quite obvious she is wearing nothing beneath her nightie.

"Good morning Miranda, how may I help you?"
"I just came to talk to you"
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Nothing in particular, just that we should do more.... talking... (purr... purr)"  (wriggles a little on her chair)

"Hmm, okay, please go and open the door."
"I'd rather... talk with the door closed (purr... purr)"
"Miranda, open the door. Now"
"But I want to... talk.. to you"  (pout)
"Miranda, it is two o'clock in the morning, you are dressed borderline indecently, I am busy, this is a working office. So...Open-the-door-right-now!"

She stands, re-opens the office door, managing to do up all buttons in the process.
She then returns not to her seat, but to one on the opposite side of the desk, chats inanely for about a minute and a half, then leaves.


Jim Clarke said...

Missed a land mine there, Steve

kae said...

Goodness, what a stud you must be.

Did you figure out what she wanted in exchange for her favours?

Skeeter said...

Kae, how about a million or two from a successful sexual harassment law suit against Steve?

RobS said...

The problem is rebuffing the advances may actually increase the chances of a sexual harassment suit. "yes officers, he called me down to the office after I'd gone to bed and told me not to change first, I didn't know what he was really after, I guess I'm just toooo innocent (purr...purr)"

AS hundreds of teachers around the country know the truth hardly matters, the accusation alone is life changing, even if successful the drawn out prolonged process can be life destroying.

Boy on a bike said...

For some reason, you sprang to mind when I read this:

I know that Aussie Bush Etiquette is recognized throughout the civilized world but we all need to be reminded from time to time.

In General:

1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview...

2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.

3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.

Eating Out:

1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

Entertaining at Home:

1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist..

2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

Personal Hygiene:

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.

2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.

3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.

4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.

Theatre/Cinema Etiquette:

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.

2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.


1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.

3. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

Driving Etiquette:

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.

2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too..

Steve at the Pub said...

Hehe, thanks BoaB. Sounds just like here!

mojo said...

Install audio/video monitoring in office AT ONCE!