the Law that Never Was

An underage person is caught using a faked ID to attempt entry to the Wayside Tavern.

The fake ID is confiscated and the police are called. (This is what the rule book says we must do).
Two constables (humourless slender females) attend & deal with the matter in a most perfunctory fashion. They keep the fake ID, but show little to no interest in the underager who attempted to use it.

However the constables do show considerable interest in the pub. They point out a person at the bar who has "obviously" had too much to drink, and warn that we had "better not serve him any more tonight" (the bar manager resolves to ignore this directive, as the fellow has barely arrived, is probably so sober that he'd pass a roadside breath test, & is exhibiting the same outward behavioural signs as a department store mannequin.)

They then take a look around & decide that the pub is "too full" of people & order the doors closed.

The bar manager gets this message straight to the office, thus Mine Host countermands the order before it has a chance to be implemented.

This provokes the ire of the constables, who storm along to the office. (here we go again)

The spokesman of the pair demands to know what Mine Host thinks he is doing.

Mine Host calmly enquires which piece of legislation they were invoking when ordering the pub closed. (There follows a bit of to-&-fro.)

Knowing they have been caught bluffing, the mood of the constables gets worse.

The more simple minded police cannot cope mentally when their actions are challenged. Their usual response is to arrest or write a ticket.

Neither a fine nor an arrest are options which are available to her in this case, as the woman is trying to enforce a law that doesn't actually exist.

This sends her into near apoplexy.

The taller of the pair whips out her notebook and with pencil poised, demands in her most arrogant voice:

"And what is your name sir?"

This question is apparently meant to intimidate Mine Host.
This woman is so dim she doesn't realise how much she is compounding her foolishness.

Mine Host is a publican. Not only are our names & place of business the subject of strict licencing requirements, we have passed government probity checks to a level that equals that met by judges.

Compared to us, schoolteachers, army officers, lawyers & government officers are fly-by-nighters.

Mine Host is well aware of his station in the community.

And this woman is cluelessly asking my name as a (failed) tactic of intimidation, knowing full well who I am (she's known me for years.)

All because she is powerless, having been caught trying to enforce a law that does not exist.