Sunday, February 19, 2012

Siamese Twins

Two males are attempting to enter the Wayside Tavern.

Only One of them has valid ID (driver's licence).

At entry to the Wayside Tavern patrons are photographed, and their driver's licence is scanned into special softward programme. This is a condtion of entry.

It takes Seven seconds to admit a patron. Time is precious. Two minutes arguing the toss in the doorway with someone who isn't going to be allowed in, is time that could have been used to let in Seventeen people.

However this incident did not happen at a busy time. Thus instead of shoving them out of the way, the guards have the time to talk.

This sort of conversation follows a more or less standard script:

"Sorry mate, no ID - no entry"
"C'mon mate, I don't need it, surely I look like I'm old enough."
"Sorry mate, no ID - no entry"
"C'mon mate, I only wanna come in for a few beers."
"Sorry mate, no ID - no entry"
"C'mon mate, surely you can see that I don't look anything like underage...?"
"Sorry mate, no ID - no entry"
"This bloke here'll tell you I'm okay...."
"Sorry mate, no ID - no entry"
........etc etc etc.........

Then the fellow who does have his driver's licence with him speaks:
"It's okay fellers, he can use mine to get in." He then produces his licence & hands it to his friend.

The guards process this information (quite a pause) then just as they are about to scan & photograph the fellow with the "newly issued" driver's licence they pause,

"Hang on, if he uses your licence, how will you get in?"
"Oh, that's okay, once he's used it he can give it to me & I'll use it to get in."

The guards accept this.

Just as they are about to proceed they pause again,

"Hang on fellers, if you're going to use the one licence for Two people you may as well both be photographed together."

So the two blokes put their arms around each other's shoulders & stand up smartly in a tight hug for the camera.

The guards then usher them into the pub.

They did this in front of me.

Yes, the next week there were all new faces in the doorman's role.


kae said...


Thanks for the Sunday night laugh.

ar said...

Seems like a reasonable compromise.