Friday, November 25, 2011


The Police "Liquor Compliance" squad (or whatever they are called) are in town. We've seen these two officers before. They are most tiresome.

Lurking outside the doorway, the officers stare at the public in an unfriendly manner, intimidating the meek. (Crikey, we're in the hospitality game, & these goons strut around acting like SS, & generally putting out an atmosphere of aggression!)

Then it really goes pear-shaped.

One of the departing public, having ceded inhibition to Bacchus, makes a gesture or something that rouses the ire of the shaven headed Constable Brutus Spartacus of the Police Liquor Compliance squad.

A few words are exchanged. The departing patron is clearly unhappy with the Police Liquor Officers. This is understandable, the officers are exuding an air of aggression that seems deliberately designed to raise the hackles of passers-by members of the public.

Suddenly the departing patron is face down on the footpath, officer Brutus Spartacus atop him, truncheon around the patron's throat.

"Call me PIG! Did you call me PIG?" squeals officer Brutus Spartacus in a high pitched voice (thus confirming the diagnosis).

Everybody in the street has stopped & is watching. Horrified.

Then officer Judas McDumbknuckle releases his victim, stands up, & allows the young man to stumble off.

Anyone else care to try doing that in public to a passer-by who (so softly that nobody else hears it) allegedly uses a nasty-wasty namey-wamey on you?

Sometimes events such as this assault reinforce to the observer that the lapsing of the code duello is possibly most lamentable moment in history.

For officer Trueheart Stoutman wouldn't be so quick off the mark were he & his victim to be each holding an "equaliser" & allowed to shoot to kill.


Anonymous said...

"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." -Conan (ie: R.E Howard)

Steve at the Pub said...

Agreed, but there is no knowing if the young lad said anything to the copper.
And anything that was said would, in any court in the land, be seen as the result of extreme provocation.

The copper spent half the night just looking for such a response from some poor rube.

Had we been an uncivilised place, any of the rest of us would have drawn sword or pistol & split the skull of the copper while he was busily assaulting the innocent member of the public.