Video Evidence

After a few months on the payroll at the Wayside Tavern, Gertrude Frump presented with a medical certificate, saying she had sustained a back injury at work, and would be unfit for any duties until such time as the second coming occurred.

In her claim she made much of the "injury" that happened to her "at work", and of how she could now barely bend over, was unable to perform even basic household tasks, blah blah blah.

Workcover phoned to:
1/. Request paperwork on her rate of pay, etc.
2/. Request any other information regarding the "injury".

Mine Host assured Workcover he'd forward payroll details, and mentioned that the claim was bogus.....
..... the security camera footage of the hours and days subsequent to the "injury" did not show any sign of a back injury.
...... she was shown for the several hours after the "injury" leaping about like a young gazelle, handling heavy loads, etc. until her shift ended.
......a few days later she helped carry an entire lounge suite up the back stairs of the Wayside Tavern.  This took more than an hour, and was heavy lifting the entire time.

Thus Mine Host offered to make copies of all this damning CCTV evidence, and forward it to Workcover.

The young lady from Workcover said guardedly that they "like to see these sort of things", as it was of invaluable assistance in uncovering bogus claims.

Several CDs containing 6 hours of very damning video files were posted to Workcover.

Several days later, having heard nothing from Workcover, and with curiosity consuming him, Mine Host telephoned the young lady.

The Workcover inspector lady at first had no recollection of who Mine Host was, or to what he was referring.

When it became clear that Mine Host was not going to be put off, and was wanting to know what Workcover inspectors thought of the video footage, she remembered the case, and the video files.

In a heated and antagonistic tone of voice she curtly barked at Mine Host:

"That video supports her claim!"


**********************

Gertrude Frump, due to being "unable to perform even the simplest household tasks, because of her work injury", was on full worker's compensation for 6 months.

During that time she left her husband of 20 years, spending the 6 months living in a house shared by several single tradesmen.  She did all the housekeeping and cooking for them in return for a free room, bed with whichever housemate she chose, and payment in cash.

Volunteer Plumber

Vandalism to the premises by members of the public is a never ending battle for publicans.
This criminal activity is usually conducted out of public view.   In these times of security cameras, vandalism is mostly inside the toilets, where not only are there no security cameras, but a little bit of personal privacy is granted.

A common activity is to smash a beer glass into a toilet bowl, then defecate copiously upon it, creating a nasty & very septic booby trap for the cleaning staff, as the only way to clean this is painstakingly, by hand.

There is a very special place in the heart of all Wayside Tavern staff for the anonymous ghosts who perform such acts, as we've all had a go at cleaning up these types of mess.

However, sanctimonious refusal to allow security cameras anywhere near the toilets is a two-edged sword!

On a certain evening one of the guards, patrolling the gents toilets, happens to interrupt a male person in an act of vandalism.  The guard advises the event via two-way radio.

Mine Host & two more guards attend post-haste.  There is a lot of pent-up vengeance being brought to this incident.

The male person is being detained by the guard who caught him.

The offender had ripped open the supposedly man-proof cistern cover, reefed a handful of pipes from the cistern, twisted them, dropped them into the toilet bowl, then defecated upon them.

The vandalised plumbing is still in situ.

The three guards subtley edge closer to the male.  Well aware of the precariousness of his situation, the offender is visibly shaking with fear.
There are no cameras in here, no witnesses, and no cops.

The guards advise the male person that he will remove, with his bare hands, the damaged plumbing from the toilet bowl, sanitize it, repair it and fit it from whence it came, then clean out the toilet bowl.

The offender states that he's "Not putting [his] hands in there!"

In a realistic tone of voice, the guards state that unless he does, they'll thrash him to within an inch of his life.  The menace in the air is palpable.

The guards don't much mind which way it goes.  They've had their turns at cleaning up after animals like this.

The offender realises from the look in the eyes of the guards that whichever of the guards who hits him first will punch him on the point of the nose, but be aiming for the back of his head.

... for those who haven't been around violence, this does not mean that he'll be hit from behind.....

The offender turns white, and shaking with fear, proceeds to do as ordered.  The supervision is most intense!

After the repairs are complete, the offender is removed most forcefully from the premises and advised to never return.

So continues life behind the bar.

Commercial Awareness

There are some things to not do at a job interview.

Some examples:

• Wear sunglasses pushed up on top of the head.
• Dress casually.
• Overtly display necklaces/gold chains.
• Say stupid things.

Recently an applicant for a senior role remarked in conversation that were he as "rich" as Gina Rinehart, he'd use the money for "good" instead of being "greedy and wanting more".

This automatically vetoed his job application.

That Reason: It demonstrates lack of commercial awareness.

The Wayside Tavern is a commercial enterprise.

The Wayside Tavern is self funding.

The very minute the Wayside Tavern stops making a profit, it ceases to exist.

The very minute the Wayside Tavern stops making a profit, every member of the staff loses their job.

Thinking of money as something to give away, is fine for someone on the dole, in the armed forces, in the church, etc., but not in a commerical business!

Almost every business in the land (almost certainly this includes Gina Rinehart) is mortgaged or otherwise beholden to lenders.

If a business is valued at (say) ten million dollars, it does not mean the owner has the option of converting it all into $10,000,000 in banknotes tomorrow morning, putting it under a mattress, and spending it on beer, snacks, dancing girls or perhaps giving $10,000,000 to the needy.

A business is a treadmill, demanding inordinate amounts of the owner's time, without regard to a social calendar.

A business valued at (say) ten million dollars has two options:

Stop trading, in which case there'll be not much left after the fire sale, and the owner will quite likely have to get a job.

Pursue profit, in the hope of keeping one's head above water (financially).

This latter is a constant battle.

In a key role, in a commerical enterprise, there is no room for someone who is not commercially aware!

Heck, this bloke probably believes that all that money in the cash register in Grace Bros. is "pure profit - cash in hand, not bad work if you can get it?"

Noisy Street March in the City

In the big smoke on business yesterday, Mine Host (and everybody else in the CBD) couldn't help but hear a noisy mob on the street below.

Windows were popping open everywhere, as people strived for a better view of the unfolding event below. Police were at the scene.

Yep! Sailors of the R.A.N. marching to a brass band, through the streets of central Cairns!

A similar event happened yesterday in Sydney, but a vastly different mob, with a vastly different outcome, and a vastly different level of public support. As reported by Boy on a Bike.

Going Viral

One could post about the advisability of clicking on the wrong part of an unsavoury website, or the benefits of keeping one's anti-virus up to date......

..... but it is when all your auto-storage of passwords is consigned to history that the full impact of losing one's usual computer hits home.

One could post on the joys & hardships of trying every password combination possible, only to be locked out of websites by this message: Account suspended due to too many password attempts.

... Mine Host has now winched up a bucket of water from the memory well, and has drunk the elixir contained therein. All passwords are now stored in the super safe location of an A4 page blu-tacked to his office wall, in a word document in every computer, on a card carried in his briefcase, inside his suitcase, and just about everywhere else except tattooed upside down on his tummy.

Regular posting will now resume.....

How to Withdraw a Job Application

On the phone to a shortlisted applicant for an executive level position, Mine Host apologises for being a couple of days returning the call. He offers one of the most well-used cover stories there is: "I've been a bit tied up with a few contracts".
Translation: "I don't have to explain myself to you, and I won't be"

"Are you some sort of Gina Rinehart type?" asks the applicant.

Mine Host laughingly states that there are "many differences" between him & the minerals magnate Gina Rinehart.

The candidate then kills their application:

"Glad to hear you're different to her. I just don't understand her greed. If I had that much money, I'd be using it to help people, rather than being greedy with it!"

That did it, Mine Host is many things, however he is not silly enough to let someone with such a mindset to get anywhere near his rice bowl.

How can anyone with that attitude expect to be hired for a job that requires them to do some actual thinking?

UPDATE: There have been a few emails from distant acquaintances, (who it should be noted, aren't in executive level positions) expressing puzzlement at "what is wrong" with the above statement by the job candidate.

For the information of those who are fortunate enough to have not faced the bailiff, the receiver, or had a "no coffee no biscuit" interview with the bank, and thus perhaps have not had economic reality enforced on them, tomorrow's post shall bring enlightenment!

Kafka in Qld

It is after closing time. The customers are all off the premises, only staff remain.

At the exit from the premises, a few staff & some police chat idly, watching the the crowd disperse.

Twenty minutes elapse.

A woman approaches from out of view further along the street, reaches into her handbag and removes a bottle of liquor and takes a swig.

A police officer writes her a ticket for drinking in public. He seizes then destroys the alcohol.

The police officer then walks over to the nearest member of Wayside Tavern staff, and with the words "I'm sorry mate, but I have to do this" writes the staff member a ticket for $600 for "Allowing liquor to be removed from the premises after hours."

The staff member is struck dumb, he's spent the past 20 minutes chatting to the police officer. In that time they haven't seen this woman, she's just walked along the street from somewhere else.

All of this is supported by the Wayside Tavern CCTV.

The staff member has a choice:
1/. Pay the $600 personally, or
2/. Challenge the fine in court, at a cost of say $5,000. (If he wins he will be unable to claim any costs.)

This is not a typical example of what can happen to individuals under the provisions of the Queensland Liquor Act.

It is an actual example.

This type of thing happens several times every year.

The Billy Goat Gene

A challenge for anyone who fancies putting together a really complex venn diagram:

Make one of which elected ALP politicians have rooted which other ones. A very large sub-group would be those who have walked out on a spouse in favour of rooting a fellow elected ALP parliamentarian.

The urge to seemingly root anything that moves, without regard to any sense of propriety, seems to be limited to that one political party. (The sub-group of elected ALP parliamentarians who have been convicted of having sexual intercourse with children won't be the smallest group in the venn diagram project - just saying)

Wonder what causes it? And why no other party has the same scale of ...er.. compulsion the ALP does?

Cops are Fair

Scene: Regular meeting between liquor licencees & police, to discuss bad behaviour by the general public.

Dominant comment by officer in charge of police:
"The town will get out of hand unless we stop bad behaviour, and stop it now! I want to see you licencees showing "zero tolerance" for bad behaviour. Don't allow any bad behaviour. From now on police will not be tolerating bad behaviour from anyone!"

The officer in charge then swivels his head, giving all of us the "fish-eye" stare that afflicts cops. He is implying that we publicans are soft on bad behaviour, with resulting flow-on effect giving the town a public disorder problem.

**** ****** *****

Three days later:

Scene: Telephone call to the police station.

Mine Host: "Someone's just come past on the street and smashed a security grill and a window.
The whole event was captured by our street cameras, it is brilliant footage and very clearly shows who he is. We'll make a copy of the CCTV & bring it over to you so he can be charged!"

Police: "Er.... this happened tonight? ..... He's gone home now?.....Um... are you making an insurance claim?...... You're not?..... Er... then do you really need to bring us a copy of your CCTV?..... This sort of thing happens all the time... It is no big deal... It is only a smashed window... ....What do you want us to do about this?.... "

Channel 10 - Back on the Air!

A couple of weeks ago TV station Channel 10 commenced broadcasting for the first time since sometime in March (a break of about 5 months.)

... or so it would seem to anyone frequenting the Wayside Tavern!

In March Channel 10 was tuned out of every television set at the Wayside Tavern (all 110 of 'em) This isn't difficult, just one tweak at the master control.

For in March the host & hostess of a mid-morning TV show on Channel 10 made belittling & nasty comments about a Victoria Cross recipient.

These comments were made on air.

Channel 10 is free to air what they wish.
Mine Host is free to boycott any channel he wishes. And so he did.

A couple of weeks ago the airhead themed morning TV show was cancelled.
Thus Channel 10 is now back on the air at the Wayside Tavern!

In public circumstances (such as a TV appearance) a VC recipient is representative of all who have served, and of all who fell.

To publicly denigrate, belittle, and show disdain to a VC recipient, (going about quiet enjoyment of his life) is extremely offensive.

One of the two philistines, George Negus, is an experienced foreign correspondent & television journalist, with decades of reporting behind him.

He knew better. He has no excuse. He deserves to be shunned from polite society. That is, whenever he appears in public, or private, all should turn their backs to him. (Similar to when military cadets "shun" one of their own for a breach of honour).

The hostess, lacking Negus' worldly experience & perhaps not as capable of meeting the challenge of understanding the discretions & norms of wider society, still should have known better.

Confronted with community & viewer ire (on a grand scale) and with sponsors withdrawing cash from the programme, they each gave a Claytons apology.

They then went on to make some incredibly stupid statements. All of which indicated a total & complete tin ear for the sentiments of decent society. Example: They claimed to be "anti-war", as if that implies a free pass to insult & sneer at the memory of war dead.

Columnist Andrew Bolt (a Channel 10 presenter, whose own show hasn't been seen at the Wayside Tavern during Channel 10's blackout) made possibly the stupidist excuse for them Mine Host has ever read:

Mr. Bolt, who is himself apt to make contentious comments at times, but always conducts himself as a gentleman, does himself no credit by saying that morning TV is a difficult gig, and saying nasty stuff is okay, as it can be "very difficult to think of things to say to fill the hour".

Bunkum! When faced with air time to fill, one is not compelled to say horribly nasty things about people.

The remarks in question were not said in isolation. The hostess, whose media career has rightly disappeared *poof*, did not just suddenly decide out of the blue to say nasty stuff about a national hero.

This sort of comment is built up over time. It was something she was comfortable saying.

In all the months (before spontaneously airing it) the remark was germinating in her psyche, at all the gatherings it (or similar) was aired, to all the people in her social & work circles who conversed with her, not one of them had seen fit to pull her up or correct her.

This speaks volumes.

Credit...!!

"..and how will you be establishing credit with us sir?"

So spoke the receptionist handling Mine Host's check-in to a fancy hostelry in USA.

First impressions are meaningful. Sometimes a first impression is too bad to recover from.

Mine Host's nostrils flared. Never would he dare to speak to a client with such phraseology. Offended, nay borderline riled, Mine Host presents his credit card, vowing to not spend one brass razoo at this hotel beyond the room charge. Extending the stay? Not a hope, buddy!

The receptionist, with that one abrasive phrase, has guillotined any chance of Mine Host raiding the mini-bar, dining in-house, or using the telephone.

In a case of most unfortunate timing, Mine Host had spent the previous hour regaling his travelling companion with tales of how the American hotel industry is a world leader in how they handle matters at reception.

First impressions count.

It speaks volumes for the hospitality of the people & positive atmosphere of the nation, that most anyone who has visited the USA is actually able to recover from the first impression that is dished out by the immigration officer at passport control.

Using the scientific sample size of every border crossing he has ever made into the USA, Mine Host authoritavely states that commnist countries, with all the frigid baleful glares they could muster up for a representative of a "non-fraternal" nation, were never as unwelcoming as is the typical immigration officer with which one is confronted when entering the USA.

For a contrasting and very positive first impression, visit New Zealand, which has possibly the world's most friendly & disarming passport control officers.

First impressions count. One enters New Zealand feeling positively buoyant!

Charming

In the USA on business, Mine Host is delighting in the constant reminders of the quaint cultural differences between his crass homeland and the delightfully charming United States of America.

Each day, and at almost every interaction with a local, one is thrilled at the delightful reminder of what a thoroughly polite person is the ordinary Joe or Josephine in the street.

Ozzis can be polite & charming, but there is a special something about the courteous manner of US citizens.

Enchanting

Everbody, at least once in their life, should see Disney's Electric Main Street Parade.

Fight called off

Any boxing fan's heart would have been gladdened at the recent prospect of the great nation of South Korea engaging in a spot of whaling.

Besides the joy of seeing the usual suspects have conniptions at the idea, Mine Host was somewhat looking forward to the vicarious thrill of watching the Sea Shepherd organisation take on some South Korean fishermen.

It'd be a brief contest. The first good whack in the gizzard & Sea Shepherd runs crying to teacher.

Koreans, for those who've never familiarised themselves with the breed, are a very tough bunch. Sea Shepherd on the other hand are a pretty gutless collection of hippies & other dickheads, with serious form when it comes to running from a fight (a fight they started).

Alas it is not to be. The government of South Korea has announced they'll not be whaling after all.

Hah! Fooled all you worldwide people didn't they...!!

So we won't be treated to the sight of oxygen theives whining at the outcome of them sailing up to some Korean workingmen on the high seas, and trying to destroy these men's livelihood & property.

Phooey!

Salvo for the Salvos

For those who really did have too much time on their hands recently, there was a brief bit in the news about some pop star braying on...

... about how people intending to donate money to them, should first consider the attitude of the Salvation Army toward homosexuals.

Fair enough. One would presume that this is already considered by those whose sympathies lean heavily toward homosexuality.

Mine Host is not keen to give to the Salvation Army, for similar reasons.

Specifically their attitude toward those who are not Christians. At one stage in a previous life of Mine Host, the Salvation Army called for an army of volunteers to assist with good works in a time of crisis....

.....the local community arrived by the horde. The Salvos refused them. Not for their ethicity, but because they were of a non-theistic religion. The packaging of relief parcels, & other desperately needed good works, remained forever incomplete.

Mine Host has never given to the Salvation Army since.

Grudgingly Mine Host allows them to shake the tin once a week in his bars (the only persons allowed to do so), but doesn't put money in himself.

On occasion, Mine Host has offered to evict and never readmit the Salvation Army, when some of their younger members have gone too far in badgering patrons for money.

While the angry & outraged pop star may bang on loudly about the attitude of the Salvation Army toward homosexuals (they aren't impressed by them & prefer to not have them as members) one can only imagine the spluttering incandesence this pop star must have toward Islam.

A religion in whose name homosexuals are strangled by hoisting them with a crane.

A google search for this pop star's proportionate condemnation of Islam brings up ... .... ... nothing.

.... If you're in down & out in Brisbane (& presumably other cities) the Salvos are often the only people who will give you a feed, and they'll always do it.....

....If you're on the front line defending this country, the nearest civilians will be the Salvos, right up there close, providing cups of hot tea, & a friendly non-military word for a digger, and they've always been there..

Girly Boys

The 2006 soccer world cup: Australia, not previously a noted soccer nation, made it through the group stage into the knockout rounds, rather an achievement.

When the Australian team was defeated in the first knockout round (which was only by the skin-of-their-teeth) they took it like men. The victors in that match, Italy, went on to win the contest.

Though they defeated the Australian team, the Italian team was unable to play better, winning only by resorting to crying like babies and pretending to be injured and sobbing in pain after clashing with Australian players.

In Mine Host's worldview, sport is underpinned by two basic tenets:

1/. Sportsmanship

2/. Courage

The Italian team has neither. This reveals an acute and chronic lack of masculinity in Italian culture.

Mine Host grew up knowing only two sports: Rodeo and Rugby League. These two sports are known for many things. However they are not known for producing crybabies.

Indisputably, Italy is made of softer stuff.

Result: Mine Host, & doubtless every other Australian with red blood in their veins, views the Italian soccer team with justifiable contempt.

Those with too much time on their hands the past couple of weeks will have noticed the occassional news item about the Italian soccer team. (Yawn)

Apparently there was some sort of soccer contest in Europe, or something. (Yawn)

Anyway, the news items were about how various suburbs & ethnic groups in our otherwise great nation, were supporting the Italian team.

It defies belief that any Australian would be seen dead supporting this bunch of effeminate, lacy panty wearing eunuchs.

If this once great nation has entire suburbs & ethnic groups who have no shame about being publicly seen supporting a disgraced team of pansies, then the multicultural experiment has gone way too far!

This nation was built by hand. One feels for the ghosts of the men who cut cane by hand along the Queensland coast, for they must be mortified to think that such effeminate conduct was done in the name of their "old country".

For those who live the easy 21st century life in the inner city suburbs of the big smoke, a lifestyle that owes its thanks to generations before them who toiled in the sun by hand: Showing support for the feminine cissies of the Italian soccer team clearly demonstrates you are not people worthy of inheriting the land that my ancestors built by hand.

Working for their Members.... 2

Qld trade unions, mostly the public service unions, have of late engaged in much renting of garments.

They have protested outside parliament house, made hot & furious comments into TV cameras, and stated how terrible things are now in Qld... blah blah blah...

This the the squealing of the spoilt child who is told they can't have an extra dessert.

Under the previous government the public service, particuarly the clerical functions, enjoyed the status of "most favoured child".

Where were these unions (supposedly so concerned about their members) when under the erstwhile state government nurses were going weeks (& months) without pay?

That was the time to go on strike, to stand in "solidarity" with their sisters who toiled in hospitals, to really kick up a fuss, etc.

Instead there was nary a peep.

So why the sudden (& hypocritical) whingeing now, over lesser issues?

Working for their Members......

The groovy new government in the mighty state of Queensland, is coming up with lots & lots of much needed changes.

Things which due to the inertia of modern politics, we never dared imagine we'd ever see happen!

A proposed law will be that trade unions will not be able to make donations to political parties without this first being put to a vote of the members of that union.

This concept of members having input into what is done with their money is new for trade union leaders.

They can barely grasp this principle.

A horrifed trade union leader was on TV the very night this proposed law was suggested.....

..... without any sense of irony, he said that having members vote on political donations would be undemocratic.

Day 1 - So far it Works!!

Lovely spring day today! Birds chirping, warm sunlight. Mine Host strolled barefoot in the garden, basking in the warmest & most pleasant day in weeks!

Obviously Mother Gaia is pleased about the carbon tax, and is smiling upon the world!

In other carbon tax news, this site has been blessed by the economic insight of James, who in yesterday's comments provides the valuable suggestion that Mine Host may wish to consider some equipment maintenance.

Gee, why didn't I ever think of that! Maintenance! Who'da ever thunk it?

Guru James suggests also that having the living daylights slugged out of you financially (the carbon tax) will "incentivise" (now there's a word for you) one into an "upgrade" of equipment. James, clearly more a believer in the "stick" than the carrot, makes no mention of where the money will come from for said upgrade.

Nor does James provide any insight into a source for the money for his next bright idea: "New Equipment which uses less electricity".

James hasn't thought this one through.

Mine Host knows where this money comes from:

Yep! Price Rises.

Price rises are how businesses (including the Wayside Tavern) will fund the extra costs caused by the carbon tax. Price rises are how the supplier discussed in yesterday's post, and his suppliers, will fund these things.

Somebody has to pay. It will be the final consumer (and can only ever be).

Australia is about to start sending hundreds of millions, perhaps billions of dollars overseas, to purchase fresh air.

This concept, called by the govt "buying carbon credits" is known elsewhere as a "gift to an overseas country".

Tomorrow it Begins.....

As the first move in an act of economic hari-kiri, tomorrow Australia unsheathes the big knife, ready to disembowel itself (economically).

Yep! The Carbon Tax.

Mine Host, like many, had little clue about how much damage this tax was going to do.

Then yesterday one of his suppliers drops by the office for an informal chat. This man is very worried, & with good reason.

The product supplied by this man, a non-saleable item for which there is no alternative, currently costs the Wayside Tavern $20,000 per year.

Tomorrow that price rises to One Hundred and Seventy Thousand Dollars per year.