On the phone to a shortlisted applicant for an executive level position, Mine Host apologises for being a couple of days returning the call. He offers one of the most well-used cover stories there is: "I've been a bit tied up with a few contracts".
Translation: "I don't have to explain myself to you, and I won't be"
"Are you some sort of Gina Rinehart type?" asks the applicant.
Mine Host laughingly states that there are "many differences" between him & the minerals magnate Gina Rinehart.
The candidate then kills their application:
"Glad to hear you're different to her. I just don't understand her greed. If I had that much money, I'd be using it to help people, rather than being greedy with it!"
That did it, Mine Host is many things, however he is not silly enough to let someone with such a mindset to get anywhere near his rice bowl.
How can anyone with that attitude expect to be hired for a job that requires them to do some actual thinking?
UPDATE: There have been a few emails from distant acquaintances, (who it should be noted, aren't in executive level positions) expressing puzzlement at "what is wrong" with the above statement by the job candidate.
For the information of those who are fortunate enough to have not faced the bailiff, the receiver, or had a "no coffee no biscuit" interview with the bank, and thus perhaps have not had economic reality enforced on them, tomorrow's post shall bring enlightenment!
Thursday, September 06, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Kafka in Qld
It is after closing time. The customers are all off the premises, only staff remain.
At the exit from the premises, a few staff & some police chat idly, watching the the crowd disperse.
Twenty minutes elapse.
A woman approaches from out of view further along the street, reaches into her handbag and removes a bottle of liquor and takes a swig.
A police officer writes her a ticket for drinking in public. He seizes then destroys the alcohol.
The police officer then walks over to the nearest member of Wayside Tavern staff, and with the words "I'm sorry mate, but I have to do this" writes the staff member a ticket for $600 for "Allowing liquor to be removed from the premises after hours."
The staff member is struck dumb, he's spent the past 20 minutes chatting to the police officer. In that time they haven't seen this woman, she's just walked along the street from somewhere else.
All of this is supported by the Wayside Tavern CCTV.
The staff member has a choice:
1/. Pay the $600 personally, or
2/. Challenge the fine in court, at a cost of say $5,000. (If he wins he will be unable to claim any costs.)
This is not a typical example of what can happen to individuals under the provisions of the Queensland Liquor Act.
It is an actual example.
This type of thing happens several times every year.
At the exit from the premises, a few staff & some police chat idly, watching the the crowd disperse.
Twenty minutes elapse.
A woman approaches from out of view further along the street, reaches into her handbag and removes a bottle of liquor and takes a swig.
A police officer writes her a ticket for drinking in public. He seizes then destroys the alcohol.
The police officer then walks over to the nearest member of Wayside Tavern staff, and with the words "I'm sorry mate, but I have to do this" writes the staff member a ticket for $600 for "Allowing liquor to be removed from the premises after hours."
The staff member is struck dumb, he's spent the past 20 minutes chatting to the police officer. In that time they haven't seen this woman, she's just walked along the street from somewhere else.
All of this is supported by the Wayside Tavern CCTV.
The staff member has a choice:
1/. Pay the $600 personally, or
2/. Challenge the fine in court, at a cost of say $5,000. (If he wins he will be unable to claim any costs.)
This is not a typical example of what can happen to individuals under the provisions of the Queensland Liquor Act.
It is an actual example.
This type of thing happens several times every year.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
The Billy Goat Gene
A challenge for anyone who fancies putting together a really complex venn diagram:
Make one of which elected ALP politicians have rooted which other ones. A very large sub-group would be those who have walked out on a spouse in favour of rooting a fellow elected ALP parliamentarian.
The urge to seemingly root anything that moves, without regard to any sense of propriety, seems to be limited to that one political party. (The sub-group of elected ALP parliamentarians who have been convicted of having sexual intercourse with children won't be the smallest group in the venn diagram project - just saying)
Wonder what causes it? And why no other party has the same scale of ...er.. compulsion the ALP does?
Make one of which elected ALP politicians have rooted which other ones. A very large sub-group would be those who have walked out on a spouse in favour of rooting a fellow elected ALP parliamentarian.
The urge to seemingly root anything that moves, without regard to any sense of propriety, seems to be limited to that one political party. (The sub-group of elected ALP parliamentarians who have been convicted of having sexual intercourse with children won't be the smallest group in the venn diagram project - just saying)
Wonder what causes it? And why no other party has the same scale of ...er.. compulsion the ALP does?
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Cops are Fair
Scene: Regular meeting between liquor licencees & police, to discuss bad behaviour by the general public.
Dominant comment by officer in charge of police:
"The town will get out of hand unless we stop bad behaviour, and stop it now! I want to see you licencees showing "zero tolerance" for bad behaviour. Don't allow any bad behaviour. From now on police will not be tolerating bad behaviour from anyone!"
"The town will get out of hand unless we stop bad behaviour, and stop it now! I want to see you licencees showing "zero tolerance" for bad behaviour. Don't allow any bad behaviour. From now on police will not be tolerating bad behaviour from anyone!"
The officer in charge then swivels his head, giving all of us the "fish-eye" stare that afflicts cops. He is implying that we publicans are soft on bad behaviour, with resulting flow-on effect giving the town a public disorder problem.
**** ****** *****
Three days later:
Scene: Telephone call to the police station.
Mine Host: "Someone's just come past on the street and smashed a security grill and a window.
The whole event was captured by our street cameras, it is brilliant footage and very clearly shows who he is. We'll make a copy of the CCTV & bring it over to you so he can be charged!"
The whole event was captured by our street cameras, it is brilliant footage and very clearly shows who he is. We'll make a copy of the CCTV & bring it over to you so he can be charged!"
Police: "Er.... this happened tonight? ..... He's gone home now?.....Um... are you making an insurance claim?...... You're not?..... Er... then do you really need to bring us a copy of your CCTV?..... This sort of thing happens all the time... It is no big deal... It is only a smashed window... ....What do you want us to do about this?.... "
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Channel 10 - Back on the Air!
A couple of weeks ago TV station Channel 10 commenced broadcasting for the first time since sometime in March (a break of about 5 months.)
... or so it would seem to anyone frequenting the Wayside Tavern!
In March Channel 10 was tuned out of every television set at the Wayside Tavern (all 110 of 'em) This isn't difficult, just one tweak at the master control.
For in March the host & hostess of a mid-morning TV show on Channel 10 made belittling & nasty comments about a Victoria Cross recipient.
These comments were made on air.
Channel 10 is free to air what they wish.
Mine Host is free to boycott any channel he wishes. And so he did.
A couple of weeks ago the airhead themed morning TV show was cancelled.
Thus Channel 10 is now back on the air at the Wayside Tavern!
In public circumstances (such as a TV appearance) a VC recipient is representative of all who have served, and of all who fell.
To publicly denigrate, belittle, and show disdain to a VC recipient, (going about quiet enjoyment of his life) is extremely offensive.
One of the two philistines, George Negus, is an experienced foreign correspondent & television journalist, with decades of reporting behind him.
He knew better. He has no excuse. He deserves to be shunned from polite society. That is, whenever he appears in public, or private, all should turn their backs to him. (Similar to when military cadets "shun" one of their own for a breach of honour).
The hostess, lacking Negus' worldly experience & perhaps not as capable of meeting the challenge of understanding the discretions & norms of wider society, still should have known better.
Confronted with community & viewer ire (on a grand scale) and with sponsors withdrawing cash from the programme, they each gave a Claytons apology.
They then went on to make some incredibly stupid statements. All of which indicated a total & complete tin ear for the sentiments of decent society. Example: They claimed to be "anti-war", as if that implies a free pass to insult & sneer at the memory of war dead.
Columnist Andrew Bolt (a Channel 10 presenter, whose own show hasn't been seen at the Wayside Tavern during Channel 10's blackout) made possibly the stupidist excuse for them Mine Host has ever read:
Mr. Bolt, who is himself apt to make contentious comments at times, but always conducts himself as a gentleman, does himself no credit by saying that morning TV is a difficult gig, and saying nasty stuff is okay, as it can be "very difficult to think of things to say to fill the hour".
Bunkum! When faced with air time to fill, one is not compelled to say horribly nasty things about people.
The remarks in question were not said in isolation. The hostess, whose media career has rightly disappeared *poof*, did not just suddenly decide out of the blue to say nasty stuff about a national hero.
This sort of comment is built up over time. It was something she was comfortable saying.
In all the months (before spontaneously airing it) the remark was germinating in her psyche, at all the gatherings it (or similar) was aired, to all the people in her social & work circles who conversed with her, not one of them had seen fit to pull her up or correct her.
This speaks volumes.
... or so it would seem to anyone frequenting the Wayside Tavern!
In March Channel 10 was tuned out of every television set at the Wayside Tavern (all 110 of 'em) This isn't difficult, just one tweak at the master control.
For in March the host & hostess of a mid-morning TV show on Channel 10 made belittling & nasty comments about a Victoria Cross recipient.
These comments were made on air.
Channel 10 is free to air what they wish.
Mine Host is free to boycott any channel he wishes. And so he did.
A couple of weeks ago the airhead themed morning TV show was cancelled.
Thus Channel 10 is now back on the air at the Wayside Tavern!
In public circumstances (such as a TV appearance) a VC recipient is representative of all who have served, and of all who fell.
To publicly denigrate, belittle, and show disdain to a VC recipient, (going about quiet enjoyment of his life) is extremely offensive.
One of the two philistines, George Negus, is an experienced foreign correspondent & television journalist, with decades of reporting behind him.
He knew better. He has no excuse. He deserves to be shunned from polite society. That is, whenever he appears in public, or private, all should turn their backs to him. (Similar to when military cadets "shun" one of their own for a breach of honour).
The hostess, lacking Negus' worldly experience & perhaps not as capable of meeting the challenge of understanding the discretions & norms of wider society, still should have known better.
Confronted with community & viewer ire (on a grand scale) and with sponsors withdrawing cash from the programme, they each gave a Claytons apology.
They then went on to make some incredibly stupid statements. All of which indicated a total & complete tin ear for the sentiments of decent society. Example: They claimed to be "anti-war", as if that implies a free pass to insult & sneer at the memory of war dead.
Columnist Andrew Bolt (a Channel 10 presenter, whose own show hasn't been seen at the Wayside Tavern during Channel 10's blackout) made possibly the stupidist excuse for them Mine Host has ever read:
Mr. Bolt, who is himself apt to make contentious comments at times, but always conducts himself as a gentleman, does himself no credit by saying that morning TV is a difficult gig, and saying nasty stuff is okay, as it can be "very difficult to think of things to say to fill the hour".
Bunkum! When faced with air time to fill, one is not compelled to say horribly nasty things about people.
The remarks in question were not said in isolation. The hostess, whose media career has rightly disappeared *poof*, did not just suddenly decide out of the blue to say nasty stuff about a national hero.
This sort of comment is built up over time. It was something she was comfortable saying.
In all the months (before spontaneously airing it) the remark was germinating in her psyche, at all the gatherings it (or similar) was aired, to all the people in her social & work circles who conversed with her, not one of them had seen fit to pull her up or correct her.
This speaks volumes.
Saturday, August 04, 2012
Credit...!!
"..and how will you be establishing credit with us sir?"
So spoke the receptionist handling Mine Host's check-in to a fancy hostelry in USA.
First impressions are meaningful. Sometimes a first impression is too bad to recover from.
Mine Host's nostrils flared. Never would he dare to speak to a client with such phraseology. Offended, nay borderline riled, Mine Host presents his credit card, vowing to not spend one brass razoo at this hotel beyond the room charge. Extending the stay? Not a hope, buddy!
The receptionist, with that one abrasive phrase, has guillotined any chance of Mine Host raiding the mini-bar, dining in-house, or using the telephone.
In a case of most unfortunate timing, Mine Host had spent the previous hour regaling his travelling companion with tales of how the American hotel industry is a world leader in how they handle matters at reception.
First impressions count.
It speaks volumes for the hospitality of the people & positive atmosphere of the nation, that most anyone who has visited the USA is actually able to recover from the first impression that is dished out by the immigration officer at passport control.
Using the scientific sample size of every border crossing he has ever made into the USA, Mine Host authoritavely states that commnist countries, with all the frigid baleful glares they could muster up for a representative of a "non-fraternal" nation, were never as unwelcoming as is the typical immigration officer with which one is confronted when entering the USA.
For a contrasting and very positive first impression, visit New Zealand, which has possibly the world's most friendly & disarming passport control officers.
First impressions count. One enters New Zealand feeling positively buoyant!
Friday, July 27, 2012
Charming
In the USA on business, Mine Host is delighting in the constant reminders of the quaint cultural differences between his crass homeland and the delightfully charming United States of America.
Each day, and at almost every interaction with a local, one is thrilled at the delightful reminder of what a thoroughly polite person is the ordinary Joe or Josephine in the street.
Ozzis can be polite & charming, but there is a special something about the courteous manner of US citizens.
Each day, and at almost every interaction with a local, one is thrilled at the delightful reminder of what a thoroughly polite person is the ordinary Joe or Josephine in the street.
Ozzis can be polite & charming, but there is a special something about the courteous manner of US citizens.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Fight called off
Any boxing fan's heart would have been gladdened at the recent prospect of the great nation of South Korea engaging in a spot of whaling.
Besides the joy of seeing the usual suspects have conniptions at the idea, Mine Host was somewhat looking forward to the vicarious thrill of watching the Sea Shepherd organisation take on some South Korean fishermen.
It'd be a brief contest. The first good whack in the gizzard & Sea Shepherd runs crying to teacher.
Koreans, for those who've never familiarised themselves with the breed, are a very tough bunch. Sea Shepherd on the other hand are a pretty gutless collection of hippies & other dickheads, with serious form when it comes to running from a fight (a fight they started).
Alas it is not to be. The government of South Korea has announced they'll not be whaling after all.
Hah! Fooled all you worldwide people didn't they...!!
So we won't be treated to the sight of oxygen theives whining at the outcome of them sailing up to some Korean workingmen on the high seas, and trying to destroy these men's livelihood & property.
Phooey!
Besides the joy of seeing the usual suspects have conniptions at the idea, Mine Host was somewhat looking forward to the vicarious thrill of watching the Sea Shepherd organisation take on some South Korean fishermen.
It'd be a brief contest. The first good whack in the gizzard & Sea Shepherd runs crying to teacher.
Koreans, for those who've never familiarised themselves with the breed, are a very tough bunch. Sea Shepherd on the other hand are a pretty gutless collection of hippies & other dickheads, with serious form when it comes to running from a fight (a fight they started).
Alas it is not to be. The government of South Korea has announced they'll not be whaling after all.
Hah! Fooled all you worldwide people didn't they...!!
So we won't be treated to the sight of oxygen theives whining at the outcome of them sailing up to some Korean workingmen on the high seas, and trying to destroy these men's livelihood & property.
Phooey!
Thursday, July 05, 2012
Salvo for the Salvos
For those who really did have too much time on their hands recently, there was a brief bit in the news about some pop star braying on...
... about how people intending to donate money to them, should first consider the attitude of the Salvation Army toward homosexuals.
Fair enough. One would presume that this is already considered by those whose sympathies lean heavily toward homosexuality.
Mine Host is not keen to give to the Salvation Army, for similar reasons.
Specifically their attitude toward those who are not Christians. At one stage in a previous life of Mine Host, the Salvation Army called for an army of volunteers to assist with good works in a time of crisis....
.....the local community arrived by the horde. The Salvos refused them. Not for their ethicity, but because they were of a non-theistic religion. The packaging of relief parcels, & other desperately needed good works, remained forever incomplete.
Mine Host has never given to the Salvation Army since.
Grudgingly Mine Host allows them to shake the tin once a week in his bars (the only persons allowed to do so), but doesn't put money in himself.
On occasion, Mine Host has offered to evict and never readmit the Salvation Army, when some of their younger members have gone too far in badgering patrons for money.
While the angry & outraged pop star may bang on loudly about the attitude of the Salvation Army toward homosexuals (they aren't impressed by them & prefer to not have them as members) one can only imagine the spluttering incandesence this pop star must have toward Islam.
A religion in whose name homosexuals are strangled by hoisting them with a crane.
A google search for this pop star's proportionate condemnation of Islam brings up ... .... ... nothing.
... about how people intending to donate money to them, should first consider the attitude of the Salvation Army toward homosexuals.
Fair enough. One would presume that this is already considered by those whose sympathies lean heavily toward homosexuality.
Mine Host is not keen to give to the Salvation Army, for similar reasons.
Specifically their attitude toward those who are not Christians. At one stage in a previous life of Mine Host, the Salvation Army called for an army of volunteers to assist with good works in a time of crisis....
.....the local community arrived by the horde. The Salvos refused them. Not for their ethicity, but because they were of a non-theistic religion. The packaging of relief parcels, & other desperately needed good works, remained forever incomplete.
Mine Host has never given to the Salvation Army since.
Grudgingly Mine Host allows them to shake the tin once a week in his bars (the only persons allowed to do so), but doesn't put money in himself.
On occasion, Mine Host has offered to evict and never readmit the Salvation Army, when some of their younger members have gone too far in badgering patrons for money.
While the angry & outraged pop star may bang on loudly about the attitude of the Salvation Army toward homosexuals (they aren't impressed by them & prefer to not have them as members) one can only imagine the spluttering incandesence this pop star must have toward Islam.
A religion in whose name homosexuals are strangled by hoisting them with a crane.
A google search for this pop star's proportionate condemnation of Islam brings up ... .... ... nothing.
.... If you're in down & out in Brisbane (& presumably other cities) the Salvos are often the only people who will give you a feed, and they'll always do it.....
....If you're on the front line defending this country, the nearest civilians will be the Salvos, right up there close, providing cups of hot tea, & a friendly non-military word for a digger, and they've always been there..
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
Girly Boys
The 2006 soccer world cup: Australia, not previously a noted soccer nation, made it through the group stage into the knockout rounds, rather an achievement.
When the Australian team was defeated in the first knockout round (which was only by the skin-of-their-teeth) they took it like men. The victors in that match, Italy, went on to win the contest.
Though they defeated the Australian team, the Italian team was unable to play better, winning only by resorting to crying like babies and pretending to be injured and sobbing in pain after clashing with Australian players.
In Mine Host's worldview, sport is underpinned by two basic tenets:
1/. Sportsmanship
2/. Courage
The Italian team has neither. This reveals an acute and chronic lack of masculinity in Italian culture.
Mine Host grew up knowing only two sports: Rodeo and Rugby League. These two sports are known for many things. However they are not known for producing crybabies.
Indisputably, Italy is made of softer stuff.
Result: Mine Host, & doubtless every other Australian with red blood in their veins, views the Italian soccer team with justifiable contempt.
Those with too much time on their hands the past couple of weeks will have noticed the occassional news item about the Italian soccer team. (Yawn)
Apparently there was some sort of soccer contest in Europe, or something. (Yawn)
Anyway, the news items were about how various suburbs & ethnic groups in our otherwise great nation, were supporting the Italian team.
It defies belief that any Australian would be seen dead supporting this bunch of effeminate, lacy panty wearing eunuchs.
If this once great nation has entire suburbs & ethnic groups who have no shame about being publicly seen supporting a disgraced team of pansies, then the multicultural experiment has gone way too far!
This nation was built by hand. One feels for the ghosts of the men who cut cane by hand along the Queensland coast, for they must be mortified to think that such effeminate conduct was done in the name of their "old country".
For those who live the easy 21st century life in the inner city suburbs of the big smoke, a lifestyle that owes its thanks to generations before them who toiled in the sun by hand: Showing support for the feminine cissies of the Italian soccer team clearly demonstrates you are not people worthy of inheriting the land that my ancestors built by hand.
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Working for their Members.... 2
Qld trade unions, mostly the public service unions, have of late engaged in much renting of garments.
They have protested outside parliament house, made hot & furious comments into TV cameras, and stated how terrible things are now in Qld... blah blah blah...
This the the squealing of the spoilt child who is told they can't have an extra dessert.
Under the previous government the public service, particuarly the clerical functions, enjoyed the status of "most favoured child".
Where were these unions (supposedly so concerned about their members) when under the erstwhile state government nurses were going weeks (& months) without pay?
That was the time to go on strike, to stand in "solidarity" with their sisters who toiled in hospitals, to really kick up a fuss, etc.
Instead there was nary a peep.
So why the sudden (& hypocritical) whingeing now, over lesser issues?
They have protested outside parliament house, made hot & furious comments into TV cameras, and stated how terrible things are now in Qld... blah blah blah...
This the the squealing of the spoilt child who is told they can't have an extra dessert.
Under the previous government the public service, particuarly the clerical functions, enjoyed the status of "most favoured child".
Where were these unions (supposedly so concerned about their members) when under the erstwhile state government nurses were going weeks (& months) without pay?
That was the time to go on strike, to stand in "solidarity" with their sisters who toiled in hospitals, to really kick up a fuss, etc.
Instead there was nary a peep.
So why the sudden (& hypocritical) whingeing now, over lesser issues?
Monday, July 02, 2012
Working for their Members......
The groovy new government in the mighty state of Queensland, is coming up with lots & lots of much needed changes.
Things which due to the inertia of modern politics, we never dared imagine we'd ever see happen!
A proposed law will be that trade unions will not be able to make donations to political parties without this first being put to a vote of the members of that union.
This concept of members having input into what is done with their money is new for trade union leaders.
They can barely grasp this principle.
A horrifed trade union leader was on TV the very night this proposed law was suggested.....
..... without any sense of irony, he said that having members vote on political donations would be undemocratic.
Sunday, July 01, 2012
Day 1 - So far it Works!!
Lovely spring day today! Birds chirping, warm sunlight. Mine Host strolled barefoot in the garden, basking in the warmest & most pleasant day in weeks!
Obviously Mother Gaia is pleased about the carbon tax, and is smiling upon the world!
In other carbon tax news, this site has been blessed by the economic insight of James, who in yesterday's comments provides the valuable suggestion that Mine Host may wish to consider some equipment maintenance.
Gee, why didn't I ever think of that! Maintenance! Who'da ever thunk it?
Guru James suggests also that having the living daylights slugged out of you financially (the carbon tax) will "incentivise" (now there's a word for you) one into an "upgrade" of equipment. James, clearly more a believer in the "stick" than the carrot, makes no mention of where the money will come from for said upgrade.
Nor does James provide any insight into a source for the money for his next bright idea: "New Equipment which uses less electricity".
James hasn't thought this one through.
Mine Host knows where this money comes from:
Yep! Price Rises.
Price rises are how businesses (including the Wayside Tavern) will fund the extra costs caused by the carbon tax. Price rises are how the supplier discussed in yesterday's post, and his suppliers, will fund these things.
Somebody has to pay. It will be the final consumer (and can only ever be).
Australia is about to start sending hundreds of millions, perhaps billions of dollars overseas, to purchase fresh air.
This concept, called by the govt "buying carbon credits" is known elsewhere as a "gift to an overseas country".
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Tomorrow it Begins.....
As the first move in an act of economic hari-kiri, tomorrow Australia unsheathes the big knife, ready to disembowel itself (economically).
Yep! The Carbon Tax.
Mine Host, like many, had little clue about how much damage this tax was going to do.
Then yesterday one of his suppliers drops by the office for an informal chat. This man is very worried, & with good reason.
The product supplied by this man, a non-saleable item for which there is no alternative, currently costs the Wayside Tavern $20,000 per year.
Tomorrow that price rises to One Hundred and Seventy Thousand Dollars per year.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Gillard Stops the Boats!
....Australian fishing boats that is.
The Mother-of-all-Marine-Parks is to be created, by turning what seems like just about every square mile of Australian owned ocean from..... er... open ocean into "Marine Park".
Thus for no reason other than an impractical thought bubble that got turned into statute, life has been ruined for people (commercial fishermen) whose contribution has been to work hard all their life, pay tax, and provide food.
On a morning news programme a morbidly overweight middle aged woman, unknown to Mine Host, but likely a minister or lackey thereof (state or federal) announced, through beady piggy eyes, jiggling jowls, & a baleful glare, that this guillotining of their productive life actually presented an "opportunity" to commercial fishermen.
There are many words for the effect on people when their livelihood is being eliminated by statute, but "opportunity" is not among them.
She used the word "opportunity" at least six times.
It is fortunate indeed for Mine Host's TV set that there wasn't a boot or brick handy. This slug of a female was calmly & callously announcing the end of productive people's livelihood (done for no valid reason) as if it were a positive.
(It is not as if the laws were changed to reduce the need for lawyers, accountants, humanities lecturers, or cultural outreach officers, all of whom are a net drain on society - this is the spiking of people who are net contributors to society)
Any criminal defence lawyer worth their salt knows that extremely overweight women are at all costs to be kept off a jury, as they are a particularly harsh & unsympathetic lot. Being on a jury is one thing, one can imagine how much worse it can get by letting people of such unsympathetic character input into nation decision making.
It is disgusting that the members of the government will go on to receive pensions & other comforts, whilst the (former) fishermen go on to penury.
As a noted economist said last week: The only reason Australia has a two-speed economy is that despite its best efforts to do so, the federal government has not yet managed to wreck the mining industry.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
He's Working on Your Case Right Now....
Scene: Telephone conversation.
Cast:
Mine Host
Junior who works for Mine Host's Lawyer.
Action:
Mine Host: [answers the phone] Hello.
Law firm junior: This is Junior Lawyer, on the team of Mr. Bigtime Partner, whom you've been repeatedly attempting to contact by telephone. Regretably he's not available today, is it okay if he telephones you on Monday, or is there something I can help you with today?
Mine Host: There is little you can do today, thank you, just so long as Mr. Bigtime Partner took the required action to handle the opposing lawyers before yesterday's 5pm deadline.
Law firm junior: ......[...extended silence...].........[...very extended...]......
Law firm junior: .....I've written into Mr. Bigtime Partner's diary that he should phone you on Monday..
So continues life as a client of one of the nation's leading law firms.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
What's for Lunch?
Newshound Mine Host, refers in this post, to the following newspapers:
Melbourne Argus
Queensland Country Life
Daily Telegraph
Sun-Herald
Sydney Morning Herald
Melbourne Age
Beat that! (for diversity)
Mine Host, an occassional visitor to the (very) big smokes of Sydney & Melbourne, has long & deeply loathed Fairfax newspapers The (Melbourne) Age & the Sydney Morning Herald.....
....because...... you can't read 'em on the train!
Printed on very large sized pages, reading them in the confines of a crowded commuter carriage is no easier than would be folding bed linen.
Good news arrives: These two newspapers shall, early next year, be turned from broadsheet into tabloid. The "able to read aboard trains" market, long the sole domain of the Telegraph or the Sun-Herald, shall finally have some diversity.
This change of page size brings to Mine Host's mind a previous occasion when a broadsheet switched to tabloid:
The major newspaper in Qld is the "Queensland Country Life" (excepting a narrow strip down the coast, this newspaper reigns supreme in Qld) These days a part of the Fairfax empire, QCL was at the time printed on second-hand presses purchased from a newspaper in the far south, the "Melbourne Argus".
For a generation or more, the rural folk of Queensland read about their engagements, obituaries, cattle prices, average yield of the mango crop, etc. on pretty much the same pages as those upon which the Argus had brought the news to generations of Melbourne residents. For reasons that shall become apparent below, those broadsheet pages are fondly recalled by rural Queenslanders who handled them.
Occasional reader, fair dinkum newspaperman, and Melbourne local Bernie Slattery may chime in, on comments below, to give a brief report about the Argus - with focus on the printing press of course.
When the Argus presses reached the end of their economic life, the QCL switched to what is now known as "tabloid" size.
Oh Boy! This change of press size brought plenty of negative reader feedback.
The new smaller sized "Country Life" irritated readers, complaints were many in number, vehement in emphasis!
..... for it transpired that in rural Queensland, where they know what they really want in a newspaper, the new tabloid sized pages were "too small" to wrap a cut lunch properly.
Update: Definition of a "Cut Lunch" (prompted by Dave from Tacoma, in comments)
A "Cut Lunch" is a fulfilling & adequate lunch
For which the consumption of requires no cutlery or crockery
Is prepared at the same time as breakfast
Is carried with one to work, school, the factory, office, wherever
Is of a sufficient robustness to withstand knockabout treatment.
Is cut to size so as to fit into one's saddlebag, lunchbox, or other container.
Usually this is sandwiches (& perhaps some fruit and/or cake).
I'm certain the concept, if not the name, is well known to Dave & other Americans.
Melbourne Argus
Queensland Country Life
Daily Telegraph
Sun-Herald
Sydney Morning Herald
Melbourne Age
Beat that! (for diversity)
Mine Host, an occassional visitor to the (very) big smokes of Sydney & Melbourne, has long & deeply loathed Fairfax newspapers The (Melbourne) Age & the Sydney Morning Herald.....
....because...... you can't read 'em on the train!
Printed on very large sized pages, reading them in the confines of a crowded commuter carriage is no easier than would be folding bed linen.
Good news arrives: These two newspapers shall, early next year, be turned from broadsheet into tabloid. The "able to read aboard trains" market, long the sole domain of the Telegraph or the Sun-Herald, shall finally have some diversity.
This change of page size brings to Mine Host's mind a previous occasion when a broadsheet switched to tabloid:
The major newspaper in Qld is the "Queensland Country Life" (excepting a narrow strip down the coast, this newspaper reigns supreme in Qld) These days a part of the Fairfax empire, QCL was at the time printed on second-hand presses purchased from a newspaper in the far south, the "Melbourne Argus".
For a generation or more, the rural folk of Queensland read about their engagements, obituaries, cattle prices, average yield of the mango crop, etc. on pretty much the same pages as those upon which the Argus had brought the news to generations of Melbourne residents. For reasons that shall become apparent below, those broadsheet pages are fondly recalled by rural Queenslanders who handled them.
Occasional reader, fair dinkum newspaperman, and Melbourne local Bernie Slattery may chime in, on comments below, to give a brief report about the Argus - with focus on the printing press of course.
When the Argus presses reached the end of their economic life, the QCL switched to what is now known as "tabloid" size.
Oh Boy! This change of press size brought plenty of negative reader feedback.
The new smaller sized "Country Life" irritated readers, complaints were many in number, vehement in emphasis!
..... for it transpired that in rural Queensland, where they know what they really want in a newspaper, the new tabloid sized pages were "too small" to wrap a cut lunch properly.
Update: Definition of a "Cut Lunch" (prompted by Dave from Tacoma, in comments)
A "Cut Lunch" is a fulfilling & adequate lunch
For which the consumption of requires no cutlery or crockery
Is prepared at the same time as breakfast
Is carried with one to work, school, the factory, office, wherever
Is of a sufficient robustness to withstand knockabout treatment.
Is cut to size so as to fit into one's saddlebag, lunchbox, or other container.
Usually this is sandwiches (& perhaps some fruit and/or cake).
I'm certain the concept, if not the name, is well known to Dave & other Americans.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
One Law for Her, Another for the Rest
Cause of much mirth to Mine Host over the past week or so has been the misguided panic of a coterie of journalists, in regard to the ownership of a pair of newspapers in the deep south.
Yep. The buying of shares in Fairfax by one of Australia's smaller scale mining bosses: Western Australian Gina Rinehart.
Newspapers, as in those printed things you read, are going the same way as the horse & carriage.
The Fairfax newspaper company in particular is so ineptly run, that the only thing people are prepared to bet upon is the actual date it will go bust.
Then along comes someone who actually buys shares in the failing company, and who actually believes in newspapers. (Gina Rinehart)
How do journalists at Fairfax greet their saviour?
With screeching panic, that is how. They bray like donkeys about how terrible it is that she is buying shares.
.....this does not assist one to believe that Fairfax journalists are a particularly bright bunch.
But then, anyone who follows circulation & readership figures (& wickedly compares those to copies sold) will have long known that the numbers of readers being shed by the two main Fairfax newspapers is quite an achievement in its own right.
The journalists at Fairfax are objecting to the very person who is likely to save their jobs.
Except of course, they'll be expected to (ugh) work for their money. Gina Rinehart has the look and manner of one who will not be indulgent of staff indolence.
Mine Host's favourite parts (in a mini-saga that downright bristles with instances of dickheadsmanship)?
1/. The insistence by the Fairfax Board of Directors, of whom none have signed a charter of editorial independence that Gina Rinehart must sign such a document as a condition of getting a seat on the board.
This pre-requisite of quill-must-meet-parchment or you don't sit on the board, has never been required of any other board member.
The only directors to ever so sign their name, were already members of the board when they just up & decided to sign.
2/. The insistence by a coterie of journalists that Gina Rinehard sign "the charter". Or else what....?
For there isn't one such document. There are two. One for the Sydney Morning Herald, and a different one for the Melbourne Age.
These really skilled investigative journalist types, could perhaps brush up on their facts before publicly engaging their mouth. Which of the multiple charters are they insisting she sign?
The same (cough) journalists who can't get it right about the number of charters-of-editorial-independence, simultaneously, & without any sense of irony, are screeching about quality journalism.
Fairfax is known as "fewfacts" for a very good reason. These same (cough) journalists who declare they are producing "quality" journalism, more than anything else are cut-&-paste clerks. They get most of their actual, you know, news from an AAP feed. Occasionally they'll camouflage the AAP feed with a bit of a re-write.
One thing is certain: The sooner the sheltered workshop calling itself Fairfax gets a real boss, the more chance that it may be saved, along with the jobs of some (undeserving) journalists.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
More Olympic Glory Thwarted!!

By taking this photograph of Dad holding a .303 with fixed bayonet, the unknown friend/relative unwittingly destroyed dad's chances of representing Australia in olympic swimming.
Note: That Lee Enfield is loaded. (Put that in your pipe & smoke it, Olympic Committee pansies!!)
In the nearly 60 years since, dad has never made olympic selection in anything. He now realises that it was due to being photographed with a rifle.
The "Nuremburg defence" seems to have cut no ice with Olympic selectors: "The Sgt. ordered me to do it!" "That's no excuse son, your Olympic swimming career is over!"
Dad wasn't a bad shot. When on the range they were given a magazine each to fire, just to familiarise themselves with the Owen gun. He fired the entire magazine at the steel post beside the 100yd target, hitting it with about half his rounds.
The range officer was speechless.
Dad did even better with the .303, which just happened to be his favourite shooting rifle. The army tested them on the rifle range at 300 yds. Dad, who'd been "Cock of the Walk" the entire year before in his hometown, was accustomed to shooting at 600 yds, thus put in a... .. rather impressive performance, on his ear.
He was a "master marksman" for the rest of his time in the Army.
This is not the first time this event has been written up on this blog.
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