"Hi my name is Joe Blow, im a Qualified chef, im a hard, punctual and reliable worker. Ive been travelling chefing for the last 4 years i can commit for at least 2 years. Please find attached a brief resume for any more information please contact me on 0123456789
I can start this asap. i couldnt find any photos but im australian of australian back ground, not fat, not ugly, nothing wrong with me and you wont have any shocks, im well presented."
It was the 2nd paragraph that got him hired. I've never read anything quite like it in a job application.