Saturday, September 17, 2011

Selling Private Information

"Hey mate, can you gimme her phone number?"

We'd hear this at closing time probably 4 times each night. It is spoken in a conspiratorial whisper, as we shove 'em out the back door.

Half the boys who come into the pub are panting over one of the staff, Racquel. Polynesian, and incredibly beautiful, she looks very like Catherine Bell (TV star, was in a show called JAG for years) Except Racquel is 18, very attractive, with a very demure manner. And much much slimmer than Catherine Bell.

She bestows a lovely smile, all the boys think they are in with a chance, that the smile she gives them is more special than the smile she gives to all the others.

But she doesn't give them her phone number, only a sweet smile.
Hence there is always someone asking for her number. Racquel is stunningly beatiful, alluring, etc etc.

Explanations that it is not our policy to give out the private phone numbers of staff are often met with a surreptitious $50 note.....

.... which we slyly pocket, as we scribble a phone number onto the back of a beer coaster.

We get another $50 for the staff party.
The taxi firm gets another call from someone who needs a ride home.

So continues life behind the bar.


Dave from Tacoma said...

Basically you're restating the oldest equation when it comes to drinking establishments:

Drunken male + raging hormones = utter stupidity.

Billions and billions of dollars are made each year off that equation.

Mine Host said...

Dave, Are you saying we should charge more?

Dave from Tacoma said...

Mine Host,

Heck yeah you should charge more. I had a guy at a country-western concert offer me $100 to let his date slip out a side door to have a cigarette. (I couldn't b/c the door in question led to the area where security took their breaks, and smoked. I would've been busted immediately.) If a guy is willing to give up $100 to help his date have a smoke, he'd certainly offer more than that for the phone number of a good-looking young lady.

Of course, you may not have too many drunken idiot country-western fans coming to your establishment. (I think they all end up at our local sports arena.)

JeffS said...

That's a novel way to pay for staff parties!